Last year, researchers at the University of Dortmund uncovered evidence confirming that the fabled Edobe-nash society predated the Indus Valley people and the Sumerians as well. This discovery suggested to the archeological world that this society was indeed the first society there has ever been.

So came a wave of interest in archaeology from students and professionals alike. Students from far and wide abandoned their engineering and doctoral pursuits. Likewise, veteran archeologists and anthropologists redirected their attention. All these people had differing disciplines and motivations. Some looked for gold. Others wanted to understand how our world came to be. With their various reasons, these people converged to the grand ruins of Edobe: where water is abundant and fruit trees grow uncontrollably.

In his book, The Rise and Fall of Edobe, Jameson Eldar theorized that Grandpa Bom-nash, the principal master of the -nash dynasty, had at one point been a hunter-gatherer. He was born into the hunter-gatherer lifestyle. And until his late teens, he wandered with his parents in search of food and water. It is possible that Bom-nash and his family traveled with a small tribe of hunter-gatherers. Eldar argues this is unlikely, though, and he bases much of his subsequent theorizing on this judgment.

This Jameson Eldar separated Bom-nash’s life into four stages. The first: his hunter-gatherer days. The second: the period after Bom-nash’s parents became too old to continue hunting and gathering. At this point, Bom-nash hadn’t a choice but to leave his parents for dead in order to provide for himself.

This second stage spanned two dozen years, by Eldar’s

estimate. It consisted of miserably cold winters and year-long hunger. It ended after a particularly cold, starving winter, during which their wasn’t a berry to be picked or a squirrel to be feasted upon within miles. It ended when Bom-nash came upon a wondrous natural spring where warm, steamy water shot from the ground and formed a pool fertile with algae and fish and voluptuous mellon trees rooting under under the water. Grandpa Bom-nash bathed in this pool, and he ate its mellon and its fish, and he slept for longer in one night than he had in his whole life.

Elder paints a beautiful picture. At dawn, Bom-nash wakes up feely mightily confused. His belly is painfully plump. His legs are warm, but their is ice around his waist. The sun, reflecting off flowing water and the snow everywhere, the sun blinds him. But in his blindness, Bom-nash sees an odd shimmering in the three-foot wide border of ledge surrounding the water pool. The warmth of the water radiated enough heat to this border to melt the snow there. And in the exposed ledge, Bom-nash discovered a limitless gold. Finding this gold marked the dawn of Bom-nash’s third stage, according to Eldar. Because with this gold, Bom-nash convinced hunter-gatherers from all around to come join him in Edobe.

Eldar explained how Bom-nash and company constructed small huts around the natural spring. These formed the basis of a village, and how the village grew into a city, and how this city eventual became the Edobe-nash Empire that we remember today by its three great towers, the enormous man-enlarged lake at its center, and its vast outward-pouring network of aqueducts.

That entails the “rise” section of the Rise and Fall of Edobe. The “fall” occurred when the

empire grew so large, the citizens of its external most posts were getting only the trickling leftovers of the wealthy elite who perched themselves just beside Edobe Lake. Eventually the masses grew so angry, they invaded the center, slaughter the wealthy and tore down their towers.

This fellow, Jameson Eldar, describes Granpa Bom-nash as the founder of civilization as we know it. Jameson Eldar was not wrong in this sense. But the impetus of this article undermines much of his tale. For it was not some hunter-gatherer who begun it all. According to cutting edge research, it was some peculiar molecule; it was a million evolutions of this molecule; it was the tidbit of DNA that arose from some molecular-level darwinism; it was the first single-celled organism; it was bacteria; it was the various gradually more complex stages of life that led eventually birthed Granpa Bom-nash, who birthed Edobe-nash and the cities and empires that have since followed its way.

Edobe was not merely the genesis of civilization. It is the birthplace of life itself.

This was the topic of a paper published out of Dortmund just last bihex citing various carbon-dating techniques as well as shamanistic verification. Supposedly, the parent molecule of DNA, EM-R31, came to fruition in the very waters of Edobe. How curious! All that is left to know is whether all modern instances of DNA can be sourced back as derivatives of EM-R31, or if there is are no common ancestors between today’s species. It is possible that DNA or a similar molecule was independently discovered somewhere else. But at this time, I cannot say if this is the case. Await further correspondence!