Dr. Evans Vows To Be Ultimate Hermit, Descends In Sea

Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel,
Surreal Times Reporter

Dr. Evans, one time Surreal Times contributor, has vowed to enter the sea - eternally. Claiming to have discovered the key to immortality, the good doctor has created an eco-submersible which will provide food, oxygen, and water from his surroundings. This potentially centuries long seclusion should, according to Dr. Evans, make him a shoe-in for the Ultimate Hermit. Dr Evans has declined to announce the location of his hermitude, which could make informing him that he is the Ultimate Hermit problematic. However, Dr. Evans feels that since he will be under the sea eternally, he’s bound to get it eventually. In order to keep himself himself occupied, Dr. Evans claims to have constructed a device which allows him to communicate with fish. He plans to use this to tell the fish how much he would like to fry them up and eat them. More on this history as it unfolds.



For more articles by Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email schlemiel.moe@surrealtimes.net.

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