Silence That Pretentious Octopus
Humans reading this, relax. You are off the hook. But Eddie Octo, “The Surreal Times First Miniature Octopus Reporter,” is most certainly on the hook and about to be fried up. What a lousy invertebrate! He thinks he can come in here, spew some three syllable words, and become one of us? This is a PRIMATE paper. There’s no need for his kind here. He rolls around in his self contained survival sphere spewing verbose garbage. Take it from this newschimp: there will never be any good nonvertebrate news reporters.
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To get in touch with this writer, email
chimp.joe@surrealtimes.net.
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