Five UMass Students Exposed to Mind-Altering Chemical H-33

The Times now sadly reports the poisoning of five UMass Amherst students with the chemical H-33. On Sunday, the students were exposed to the chemical H-33 via a small puddle spread over a table in Herter Hall. The source of the chemical is unknown, but Surreal Times investigative reporter Joe Kierlskegrienger is on its trail.
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Who Exposed the Surreal Five to H-33?
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