We have received a wide array of comments about the length of time between editions. These comments have come in many forms from angry mobs at the front door of our imaginary empire to simple letters slipped under the door of our residences. Many Naive individuals saw the word bihex in print and interpreted this as 12 earth days. Have we taught you people anything?

How surreal is a paper that exists within the confines of pre-existing packets of time?

Citizens of the world: I will leave you with this clarification; A bihex is defined by the length of time between releases of the Surreal Times. This allows enough time for the brilliant writers, innovative correspondents, saucy editors, enlightened people, intellectual rabble-rousers, zoo animals, sleepy electrons, shoe collections, up tight hipsters, staunch conservatives, productive reverends and clammy spheres of the Surreal Times to produce a world changing arrangement of letters and pictures.

The unquenchable thirst for surreal content is recognized, but on behalf of the Surreal Times and its beneficiaries, get off of our god damn backs.