Protest by the Tree Folk

The Tree Folk held a protest today in downtown Amherst. A high official of the Tree Folk, Senior Hoff Dazzle-Razzle Magoogoo, found time to sit down with me at the Fresh Side cafe. After spilling a little tea on his turd-themed mumu, Magoogoo explained the basic tenets of his group, the Tree Folk chapter in Amherst.

“We’re primarily concerned with the role of money in politics, and the hyper partisanship in Washington,” said Magoogoo, lightly twirling two of the dreidels embedded in his winding grey beard, “and we think the way forward involves cooperation with both sides. Mostly, we want people to listen to each other. We’re also for common sense gun purchase laws, that don’t infringe the second amendment, the removal of state barriers for health care, and increased communication between what the military requires and asks for versus what Congress gives the military.”

Looking through the three multicolored spectacles of Senior Hoff Magoogoo, I could see, despite the neon yellow contact lenses, a true centrist. His feet sported neon yellow cowboy boots under the table.

“Mostly, we want bipartisanship, and a new center to the American political scene, where we focus on the issues we agree on first, and after considerate debate, decide what to do on the contested things after. Washington has fallen into disrepair.”

After I interviewed Senior Hoff Magoogoo, I stopped by a small, organic counter protest that had sprung up on the other side of the common. One Mr. Smith Johnson, wearing a well fitting suit and carrying a briefcase, agreed to speak to me.

“The main problem right now in Washington, “ Johnson said, “is the presence of soul sucking despair spiders disrupting the balance of the chakras. We plan to, when the stars are correct, summon the Lord of Light, Em-Balshazar to destroy the enemies of the people.”

“We only hope,” he continued, “that this destruction does not unbalance our auras.”

After such a wild interview with Magoogoo, it was nice to hear some common sense. It’s good to know that even when Amherst Common is overrun by raving centrists, one can still find a breath of realistic commentary tucked away in a counter protest.

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