Cro Raka,
Times Correspondent

Harrison H. has deliberately done it again.

The infamous torturer Harrison H, infamously nicknamed Mad Harry, claimed a new victim on the night of September 16th. How to stop this villain is the latest question that most of the citizens of Massachusetts are asking each other.

For those who do not know of yet who Mad Harry is the following brief summary of his dealings will be the best solution to cure their ignorance:

His first attack was on December 14th 2016, where the mechanic, Malcolm Malcolms of Pittsfield, MA, disappeared in the evening after his job. His disappearance was reported and filled inconclusive until just as mysteriously he returned to his home completely insane three days later. And this was a man who family and friends labeled as “Quite normal, with the ambitions of a middle aged boxer.” Upon his return he could not retain information for more than two or three days, could not stand eating sitting down, could no longer contemplate working at the same place seven days a week, could never again hold intimacies with his wife, and never again signed his name.

A week from his return he parted ways with most everyone he knew and currently lives in Lenox.

The second attack was on February 13, 2017. Mrs. Mary Hajdul from Lowell, MA, found herself one day in her garden when her husband reported that a tall man dressed in black slept her with a rag and dragged her into a van before he could run out to pull action. His pursuit in vain. Similarly, less than a week after a puzzling case, she returned mad as a mule. She had taken to the habit of belly laughing without control and restraining herself only for fits of anger that became common.

A total of seven more assaults of this nature, all of which entail the victim returning crazy, have been reported in Massachusetts.

The latest assault took place in Amherst, MA at the odd hour of 3pm (an hour that is very well known for being too late or too early for any activity of substance). The young Shelly Duvant, a student at Amherst College, did not return to her dormitory after her class. To the surprise of some, she returned only mildly mad. Mad enough to decide to put a stop on her student loans and take a leave on her education, still she narrated her experience under the custody of Mad Harry.

Duvant reported a man wearing an oversized overcoat following her on North Pleasant st when she suddenly felt ill and woke up strapped to a chair with multiple ties, her head pulled as far as it could, and her eyes tapped wide. She said that what followed were drops of water falling on her forehead one by one at a regular interval. “I suppose it was too late when I realized,” she said, “I already had a hole in my head.”

Authorities have concluded that a similar technique could have been used on the other victims.

“I cursed and cried and screamed and begged, but all that happened was another drop,” she said, “and then… the anticipation for the next."

Duvant is currently hospitalized in the Cooley Dickinson Hospital.

Mad Harry is still loose. Do beware. Do sleep tight. Any furthur news your source for the scoop: The Surreal Times.