Lobster Spawning Brigade Accidentally Descends On Amherst

“Well, I think I speak for the entire Brigade when I say we’re both embarrassed and frustrated,” said Head Lobsterman Jim Grady to the Times on Wednesday.

The International Lobster Spawning Conference provides an annual outlet for enthusiastic lobster spawners to discuss the tricks of the trade and express their enthusiasm for spawning our clawed, delicious red friends. They gather to share methods on how cultivate and grow lobsters for the food trade and recreation. The Conference migrates every year, and this year the time was set for October 24 in Amherst.

Amherst, Nova Scotia, that is.

You can see where the Lobster Spawning Brigade went wrong.

“Oh, Amherst, Nova Scotia is a fine place to meet,” says Head Lobsterman Grady, “It’s about time we gave our Canadian friends some love. I hear the Conference went great.”

The Head Lobsterman pauses.

“I just wish we made it there like we meant to.”

The Lobster Spawning Brigade is a 542 member strong organization which fosters the function and appreciation of lobster spawning, or lobster farming. The Brigade is U.S.-based and draws even from states with no lobster-bearing waters.

“It’s a labor of love,” Grady says, “Even when you haven’t actually got any lobsters.”

On why the Brigade collectively drove to the wrong Amherst, Grady told me that navigation has never been a strong point for the group.

“Next year we’ll collectively invest in a GPS,” he said.

The Times wishes the Brigade better luck on their future attempts at navigation.

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