How does it feel to be on the wrong side of history, Surreal Times? You are a fossil. You are obsolete. You are unwanted, you are obscure, and you are archaic.
You print your newspaper on dead trees.
The Tree Folk hereby demand the Surreal Times switch to online-only publishing. This will save countless trees which are even now being slaughtered, their defaced corpses being processed into the most foul of byproducts: paper.
The Tree Folk will not stop until The Surreal Times stops murdering trees.