University Of California To Introduce Spiritual Evaluation To Admission Process

OAKLAND, CA—The Board of Regents of the University of California (UC), the largest public university system in the country, announced today its proposal to replace the SAT and ACT standardized tests with the University’s own holistic evaluation of each applicant’s spiritual potential.

Starting with the Class of 2023, UC will consider each applicant’s “acceptance of self and other, mind-body integration, and inner vision of the Infinite,” in addition to traditional metrics.

“The University of California has led the charge in higher education policy for over half a century,” said Board President, Dr. Richard M. Fiddler. “Today, we turn that charge in a new direction: alignment with a higher power.”

The Board announced earlier this year that the UC system would transition to a “test-optional” policy for SAT and ACT in the 2021-2022 admission cycles before again moving to a fully “test-blind” policy starting in 2023.

The SAT and ACT have long been criticized for favoring higher-income students who can afford private tutoring and can re-take the tests multiple times. Critics have pointed out, however, that the new metric poses equity challenges of its own.

“This will disproportionately affect students of color,” contended Whitney Weller, a spokesperson for National Advantages in Testing. “Students from lower income groups,” she explained, “may benefit unfairly due to the greater depth of spiritual strength required to bear the burdens of poverty.”

President Fiddler’s comments refer to the perception of the UC system as a bellwether for trends among American universities. Indeed, the UC’s embrace of the SAT in the 1950s set the stage for its prevalence today, which has in turn spawned a multibillion dollar test prep industry.

Overnight, that industry has morphed to accommodate demand for instruction on how to achieve spiritual balance and self-relinquishment.

The College Guy, a Santa Monica, CA-based former “test guru” now branded a “spiritual expert” suggested, “Like any test, it can be beaten with a few simple tricks. Speaking in vague terms and minimizing blinking have been in vogue among cult leaders to evoke communion with the divine for millennia.” He continued, “The external, after all, precedes the internal.”

Responses from parents and teachers have been hot. No state in the nation, including California, includes any form of spiritual instruction required in its public school curriculum.

Mary Trammel, who has a son currently in the UC system and a daughter who hopes to apply next year argued, “It’s one thing to ask our kids to sit still with a test booklet for four hours. It’s a whole other to ask them to sit still with an inner sense of peace and tranquility. Our children are not prepared for this.”

Another mother visiting UC-Berkeley on Saturday for a tour with her 7th grade daughter had resigned herself: “What really matters is getting into college. If our daughter has to demonstrate spiritual achievement to do it, she will do it.”

For more articles by Nicholas M. Sennott, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email sennott.nicholas@surrealtimes.net.


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