Opinion: What’s So Scary About Skeletons?

Spookas Ghoulgen,

Lately I’ve been observing a disturbing trend in media where skeletons are portrayed as scary somehow and I for one am baffled. You mean the thing that’s inside everyone’s bodies their entire lives? That’s scary?! You might as well be afraid of your own pancreas. Excuse me, but if you’re so afraid of your own bones, then why are you afraid of breaking them?! Make up your mind!

As a walking talking skeleton myself I find these overly scary depictions very hurtful. I’ve never tried to scare anyone in my life or my death! You all need to stop making assumptions about undead individuals who are far more concerned about their own affairs, like getting our limbs back from thriving stray dogs who keep taking them! Where’s my femur, you mangy mongrel miscreants?! Anyway that’s all I really wanted to say. Oh, and one more thing, do not play my ribs like a xylophone, because I do not appreciate it and most of you are not even good at xylophone.

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