| Date Published |
Title |
Author(s) |
| December 12, 2021 |
Nippled Bird, Mime Engage in Psychic Energy Battle |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
From the Mouth of the Pig 40 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| December 12, 2021 |
Sound Worm Havoc On Halloween |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
What I learned from trading my penis for a VHS copy of "Willow" starring Warwick Davis (Now on Redbox!) |
Hank T. Joseph |
| December 12, 2021 |
Federal Reserve of Thoughts to replace The Federal Reserve |
Carl Mon |
| December 12, 2021 |
Power outage causes slow motion |
Tom Johnson |
| December 12, 2021 |
31 Year old Woman Lodged Somewhat Firmly in Year 2012 |
Rio Calais |
| December 12, 2021 |
Column: Pleakley's Afternoon |
Pleakley Pow Pow |
| December 12, 2021 |
Anti-Clown Attacks in Amherst |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
A Dimension inside a Disco Ball |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
Local Business Tries Out Causal Fridays |
Johnathan Delsignore |
| December 12, 2021 |
God Has Second Thoughts |
Anonymous |
| December 12, 2021 |
>Man Obscured By Tuba |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
Drink Helium For Social Distancing |
Craig Burroughs |
| December 12, 2021 |
Facebook Subsidizing relocation to their simulated world |
Tommy Potentuary |
| December 12, 2021 |
Holyman Summons A Party |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
Opinion: What’s So Scary About Skeletons? |
Spookas Ghoulgen |
| December 12, 2021 |
Youth League Competitive Rotten Cheese Eating: Is it Ethical? |
Mike O'Really |
| December 12, 2021 |
Introduction of Vacuum Tube Transport on UMass Campus |
Ophelia Jones |
| December 12, 2021 |
Wanted: Geoffrey |
The Editors |
| December 12, 2021 |
Stuck in a bug |
Vidya |
| December 12, 2021 |
Free Will Fridays |
Tom Johnson |
| December 12, 2021 |
What is compound neuronal exposure disease? |
Doctor Cozma |
| December 12, 2021 |
Observations of a Dad-like Cryptid |
Wendy Rutrage |
| December 12, 2021 |
Martian Medusa And Her Scheming Tendrils |
Medusa's Tendril |
| December 12, 2021 |
Job Opening! |
The Editors |
| August 23, 2021 |
The Dangers of An Unlicensed Masseuse |
Tommy Potentuary |
| August 23, 2021 |
Wacky Weather Report, Brought To You By Bozo The Clown |
Bozo The Clown |
| August 23, 2021 |
Mourning Breath |
The Editors |
| August 23, 2021 |
Picnic In The Sahara |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| August 23, 2021 |
New Covid Variant Detected |
Paul Kruger |
| August 23, 2021 |
Legal Question |
Vladimir |
| August 23, 2021 |
Feed Your Brain Instead |
The Editors |
| August 23, 2021 |
Turtle's Dreams |
The Editors |
| August 23, 2021 |
Mental Magnet Erases Hard Drives |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| August 23, 2021 |
Jeff Bezos: Chimpanzee Murderer |
Paul Kruger |
| August 23, 2021 |
Opinion: Animal Testing Is Wrong, Use Furries Instead |
Dr. Mormonius Rex |
| August 23, 2021 |
Dependence Day A National Holliday |
Ms. Porter |
| August 23, 2021 |
God On Strike, Birthrate Drops To Zero |
Tommy Potentuary |
| August 23, 2021 |
Recommended Negative Vibe Quota |
Milbod Hummmmmmmmm |
| August 23, 2021 |
New Study Suggests This Is All A 4th Grader’s Fever Dream |
Ludwig Andre Hogan |
| August 23, 2021 |
The Diving Bell And The Butterfly And A Nipple |
The Editors |
| August 23, 2021 |
Monkey Tilt Laws |
Tom Johnson |
| August 23, 2021 |
Surreal Times Contest |
The Editors |
| August 23, 2021 |
2024 Presidential Candidate Announces Height Equality Campaign |
Paul Kruger |
| August 23, 2021 |
The Arson Streak Because Of The Absence Of The Melon Man |
The Inanimate Empathist |
| August 23, 2021 |
Surreal Times 5 Year Anniversary Bash |
The Editors |
| August 23, 2021 |
The Completed Observations Of An Oatmeal Beard On A Bus. |
Melanie Richardson PsyD |
| August 23, 2021 |
Simulation Hackday |
Theodore Munnely |
| August 23, 2021 |
Convert Me Daddy! This Could Be A One Buck Pantheon For You. |
Anonymous |
| August 23, 2021 |
Wrestling With Waves And Fish |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| July 18, 2021 |
Save the UMass Scifi Club |
The Editors |
| July 18, 2021 |
Woman Steps Out Of The Woods And Changes A Life Forever |
Vivian Mauve |
| July 18, 2021 |
Unusual Teaching Methods At Chiptooth Kindergarten |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| July 18, 2021 |
Unions Oppose Corporate Piano Method |
Common Observer |
| July 18, 2021 |
Talking To Your Child About The Worker Elves That Live In Your Body |
Lucy Bugle |
| July 18, 2021 |
Astronaut Stranded On Lagrange Point |
Carl Mon |
| July 18, 2021 |
Public Notice: Bones Will Be Distributed Evenly |
Tom Johnson |
| July 18, 2021 |
Fair Redistribution Of The Bones To Personalities |
Carl Mon |
| July 18, 2021 |
Psa: Beware Of Surreal Times Imposters! |
The Mysterious M |
| July 18, 2021 |
Surreal Times Bottom Five Under Five. |
The Editors |
| July 18, 2021 |
Once People Walked Here, But Now Only A Few Do. |
Vivian Mauve |
| July 18, 2021 |
Introspecting On The Side Effects Of Divorce |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| July 18, 2021 |
Contagious Hiccupers Required To Glue Kazzoos To Faces |
Carl Mon |
| July 18, 2021 |
Furry Feminism Revitalizes Hair Anywherespray |
Pleakley Pow Pow |
| July 18, 2021 |
Add A Lockaway Room To Your Home |
Tommy Potentuary |
| July 18, 2021 |
Brave Dog Stops Home Intruder, Tortures Him In The Basement For 6 Months. |
Micheal O'Really |
| July 18, 2021 |
Dear Jupiter: My Tongue Has Become A Snake! |
Jupiter |
| July 18, 2021 |
Have You Ever Experienced Something … So Bad |
Vivian Mauve |
| July 18, 2021 |
Soldiers Required To Communicate Over Connection-based Protocol Tcp |
Carl Mon |
| July 18, 2021 |
Top 10 Lines To Guarantee Getting A Third Date |
Big Mama Terrible |
| July 18, 2021 |
What Really Happened When A Rodent Teether And A Tobot Roother Kissed. |
The Speculative Asexual |
| May 29, 2021 |
Surreal Times 5 Under 5 List |
Paul Kruger |
| May 29, 2021 |
Synchronicities As A Service |
Tommy Potentuary |
| May 29, 2021 |
Reminder: Your Rights As A Dimension 3 Biped |
Aldus Humbleton |
| May 29, 2021 |
Surreal Times Joins The New York Times |
The Editors |
| May 29, 2021 |
Top 10 Facts About Alligators |
Big Daddy Terrible |
| May 29, 2021 |
Foundational Mythology |
The Late Prof. Mercreu L'aInk |
| May 29, 2021 |
Gov. Mandates Continuous Integration Testing Of Humans |
Common Observer |
| May 29, 2021 |
Hiccupper Quarantine Camps |
Carl Mon |
| May 29, 2021 |
Are You A Markov Chain? Find Out Now And Get Help? |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| May 29, 2021 |
Legal Notice |
STEINHOUSE STEINHOUSE & STEINHOUSE LLP |
| May 29, 2021 |
Weather Forecast for April 2324 |
God |
| May 29, 2021 |
Fractional Reserve Bone Keeping |
Carl Mon |
| May 29, 2021 |
Presidential Orgy Designed To Find Future Moon King |
Tommy Potentuary |
| May 29, 2021 |
Ant Joins Surrealist Journalism Team |
The Editors |
| May 29, 2021 |
Martians Discover Helicopter Drones |
Tom Johnson |
| May 29, 2021 |
Gravity Preppers Train For Gravitationally Unstable Future |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| May 29, 2021 |
Experience New Qualia At Electromagnet World! |
Tommy Potentuary |
| May 29, 2021 |
Correction: Mathematicians On Mars |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| May 29, 2021 |
Immersive Pet Store |
Aldus Humbleton |
| May 29, 2021 |
A Night In The Frothing Chamber |
Whaler S. Fishpole |
| May 29, 2021 |
Fire In The Fractal Factory |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| May 29, 2021 |
Group Attempts To Hypnotize The Gods |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| May 29, 2021 |
Parental Controls For The Eyeballs |
Tom Johnson |
| May 29, 2021 |
Calcium And Nutrients |
I know how you view my home. |
| May 29, 2021 |
From the Mouth of the Pig 37 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| April 9, 2021 |
Well Well Well |
Madame Madman |
| April 9, 2021 |
Send Us Your Dreams |
The Editors |
| April 9, 2021 |
Bihexical Comic |
Cro Raka |
| April 9, 2021 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 36 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| April 9, 2021 |
Surreal Times Aquired By The Argonaut |
The Editors |
| April 9, 2021 |
A New Kind Of Hiccup |
Carl Mon |
| April 9, 2021 |
Meese Herds Return To Home In Sw Ontario. |
Ellie Zandt-Balmer |
| April 9, 2021 |
A Call To Immediate Action: Baconize The Pig |
Zulu Z. Zulu |
| April 9, 2021 |
Letter To The Editor |
Doctor Goldstein |
| April 9, 2021 |
A Message From An Ant Stuck In An Ant Farm |
Ant |
| April 9, 2021 |
Gravity Preppers Wear Bricks On Their Feet |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| April 9, 2021 |
Mathematicians On Mars |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| April 9, 2021 |
Dear Jupiter: Should I Build Robot Lips To Please My Girlfriend? |
Jupiter |
| April 9, 2021 |
Legal Notice |
STEINHOUSE STEINHOUSE & STEINHOUSE LLP |
| April 9, 2021 |
Max On The Street: Repeated Exchanging Of Burritos In Cambridge |
Max R. Normalman |
| April 9, 2021 |
Man Convicted Of Crime Against Humanity |
Bartholomew Bax |
| April 9, 2021 |
New Distribution Station In Bombay Beach |
The Editors |
| April 9, 2021 |
Sister Spirits In Old Churchyard? |
Finnick Lightfoot |
| April 9, 2021 |
Op-ed: Proposal To Replace Presidential Debates With Something Much More Entertaining |
Paul Kruger |
| April 9, 2021 |
Caterpillar Rash |
Opheila Jones |
| April 9, 2021 |
Conversions Overheard Vol. 3: Gulled One Sighting. |
Ophelia Jones |
| April 9, 2021 |
Weird Local Film Festival #5 |
Advertisement |
| April 9, 2021 |
Bone Storage Problems |
Carl Mon |
| April 9, 2021 |
Whose Bones Are These? |
Aldus Humbleton |
| April 9, 2021 |
Help! I've Been Kidnapped And Forced To Listen To The Mars Volta |
Flip Gilligan |
| April 9, 2021 |
Opinion: Free The Oil, Help It To Freedom |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 12, 2021 |
Women Re-defines Love Function |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 12, 2021 |
Trapped 5ft Off The Ground |
Eddie Backle |
| March 12, 2021 |
Top Tier Goon Drafted For Half-a-million |
Lenny Abel Hogan |
| March 12, 2021 |
Can Bone Removal Prevent The Spread Of Covid? |
Common Observer |
| March 12, 2021 |
Disgraced Surgeon Pioneers Eyeball Relocation Procedure |
Bartholomew Bax |
| March 12, 2021 |
Plants With Teeth Strike Fear In Angelinos |
Carl Mon |
| March 12, 2021 |
Legal Notice |
STEINHOUSE STEINHOUSE & STEINHOUSE LLP |
| March 12, 2021 |
Multiple Personalities Given Voting Rights |
Carl Mon |
| March 12, 2021 |
The Mouth Roomba - Newest Dental Invention |
Tommy Potentuary |
| March 12, 2021 |
Task Tony Helps Belen Find Love |
Tony Pepperoni |
| March 12, 2021 |
The Octopus Saga: How I Ate A Live Octopus And Formed A Bond With It |
Paul Kruger |
| March 12, 2021 |
Couple Brings Their Relationship To The Next Level |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 12, 2021 |
Human-like Pet Store Opens Downtown |
Tommy Potentuary |
| March 12, 2021 |
Capsoul: Color Your Life |
Advertisement |
| March 12, 2021 |
Buddha Beans: Hemp Infused Coffee |
Advertisement |
| March 12, 2021 |
Boxman: Amherst’s Newest Superhero |
The Mysterious M |
| March 12, 2021 |
Amadeus Huntington, The Plant Destroyer |
Paul Kruger |
| March 12, 2021 |
A View Into A Vietnamese Apartment |
Zulu Z. Zulu |
| March 12, 2021 |
Clay Catastrophe: Metamorphic Earth Gone Wild |
Pleakley Pow Pow |
| March 12, 2021 |
Coughing, Swallowed, Forgotten, Free |
The Gulled One |
| March 12, 2021 |
Bihexical Comic |
Cro Raka |
| February 20, 2021 |
Ricky Amadour: Artist, Designer, Musician - THE NEWEST CANDIDATE IN OUR BRAIN EATER PROGRAM |
Zed Murky |
| February 9, 2021 |
Bihexical Search b34 |
Armädeius Galouei's Surrogate |
| February 9, 2021 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 34 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| February 9, 2021 |
A Healthy Man |
Bartholomew Bax |
| February 9, 2021 |
A Poem By ZZZ: The Lighthouse |
Zulu Z. Zulu |
| February 9, 2021 |
A Hot Bath |
Zulu Z. Zulu |
| February 9, 2021 |
Why I Became A Lizard |
Lucard Haugauna |
| February 9, 2021 |
The Petri Dish Kids |
Pleakley Pow Pow |
| February 9, 2021 |
University Of California To Introduce Spiritual Evaluation To Admission Process |
Nicholas M. Sennott |
| February 9, 2021 |
Effects Of "caterpillar Rashe" Are Wide Felt |
Ophelia Jones |
| February 9, 2021 |
Rates Of Self-immolation Skyrocket As Melon-man Hands Out Her Last Free Melon. |
Micheal O’Really |
| February 9, 2021 |
New Business In Town: Kid Swap |
Paul Kruger |
| February 9, 2021 |
Man Sneezes; Gets Blessed By Jesus Christ |
Paul Kruger |
| February 9, 2021 |
Open Letter To My Past Self |
Name Withheld Due To Safety |
| February 9, 2021 |
Letter To The Editor |
Anonymous |
| February 9, 2021 |
Costco Burns To The Ground, Destroying Thousands Of Free Samples |
Mike Hanson |
| February 9, 2021 |
Individual Protests Federeral Reserve |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 9, 2021 |
Individuals Celebrate Organization |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 9, 2021 |
Federal Reserve To Lower Global Brain Coefficient |
Aldus Humbleton |
| February 9, 2021 |
Locals Be Advised: Harrison Honeycrisp |
Aleister Frost |
| February 9, 2021 |
Free Respawn Service Offered Downtown |
Tommy Potentuary |
| February 9, 2021 |
News Pirates Hijack Distribution Box |
Times Staff |
| February 9, 2021 |
Ufos Spark Momentary Cult |
Carl Mon |
| February 8, 2021 |
Lobster Whisperer Teaches Sonar Spoofing, Saves Crustations |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 8, 2021 |
Novelty Society Achieves Success |
Theodore Munnely |
| February 8, 2021 |
Reality Supremacist Operatives Outed From Congress |
Carl Mon |
| February 8, 2021 |
Dentist Starves After Robot Teeth Steal Food |
Tom Johnson |
| February 8, 2021 |
Woman Overdoses On Helium |
Tom Johnson |
| February 8, 2021 |
Those With Single Personalities To Receive Free Personality Multiplexing Therapy |
Tommy Potentuary |
| February 8, 2021 |
Congress Passes Reality Relief Bill |
Common Observer |
| February 8, 2021 |
Blow To Head Changes Ball Player’s Life Forever |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 8, 2021 |
Couple Has A Real Marriage |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 2, 2021 |
WEIRD LOCAL FILM FESTIVAL #4 |
The Editors |
| December 13, 2020 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 33 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| December 13, 2020 |
Juggle Fighting Championship Spurs Controversy |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 13, 2020 |
Oroxtaclüve Sighting Downtown Amherst, Collateral Damage |
Carl Mon |
| December 13, 2020 |
Account: Observations of An Oatmeal Beard on a Bus |
Melanie Richardson PsyD |
| December 13, 2020 |
Found Keys - Looking for Owner |
Anonymous |
| December 13, 2020 |
Stolen Keys - Locked out of Apartment |
Anonymous |
| December 13, 2020 |
Organization Collecting Vegan Hair |
Anonymous |
| December 13, 2020 |
Notice: You May Be Entitled to Money |
Anonymous |
| December 13, 2020 |
Opinion: Humans Should Be Banned |
Guy Person |
| December 13, 2020 |
Dear Jupiter: I Can Only Express Myself Through Elaborate Performance Art |
Jupiter |
| December 13, 2020 |
Discovering My Sexy Alien Popstar Alter Ego |
Anonymous |
| December 13, 2020 |
Nation Unites In Anti-vampire Movement |
Bartholomew Bax |
| December 13, 2020 |
LA City Government Rumored To Be Buying Tiktok |
Paul Kruger |
| December 13, 2020 |
The Truth Behind Turkey |
Joaquin |
| December 13, 2020 |
The Tragedy Of Bug-no-pain-man |
Ludwig Andre Hogan |
| December 13, 2020 |
Etymological Erotica: Meat Your Maker |
Madame Madman |
| December 13, 2020 |
Aldus Presents: Unperiodic Reminder |
Aldus Humbleton |
| December 13, 2020 |
Easy Alternative Diet Will Help You Lose Weight |
Tommy Potentuary |
| December 13, 2020 |
Man Replaces Teeth With Small Robots |
Carl Mon |
| December 13, 2020 |
Anonymous Robot Vandals Ruin The City |
Aldous Humbleton |
| December 13, 2020 |
A Look Into The "Sane Asylum" Downtown |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 13, 2020 |
Be The Video Game Character You Always Dreamed Of |
Tommy Potentuary |
| December 13, 2020 |
Cdc Now Recommends Three Personalities Per Person |
Common Observer |
| December 13, 2020 |
The Art Of Fishing With Birds, A Beautiful Bond |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 13, 2020 |
Cosmic Ju-jitsu Tournament With A Dramatic Finish |
Tommy Potentuary |
| December 13, 2020 |
Help! I Just Can't Get Away From These Beefy Crabs |
Hubert E. “Eyebrows” Perrywinkler |
| December 13, 2020 |
Protests Against Turkey In Space |
Common Observer |
| December 7, 2020 |
Imaginary Divorces Are Skyrocketing |
Dr Peter Rambis |
| October 28, 2020 |
Community Classifieds |
The Editors |
| October 28, 2020 |
New Restaurant in Town |
The Editors |
| October 28, 2020 |
Notice To The Public |
Mike |
| October 28, 2020 |
Bihexical Comic |
Cro Raka |
| October 28, 2020 |
New Hairstyle Taking over Paquaint Areas |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 28, 2020 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 32 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| October 28, 2020 |
A Damn Good Case Of The Brownie Bonkers |
Pleakley Pow Pow |
| October 28, 2020 |
Interview With Belinda Burger, The "Googly Eyes" Artist |
The Mysterious M |
| October 28, 2020 |
Bunny Rabbit Rave Hero |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 28, 2020 |
Spiders As An Alternative To Music |
Common Observer |
| October 28, 2020 |
Paparazzi Have A Foot Fetish |
Common Observer |
| October 28, 2020 |
A New “Intellectual Property” |
Aldous Humbleton |
| October 28, 2020 |
Sandcastle Sex Dolls Deemed Unhealthy |
Tom Johnson |
| October 28, 2020 |
“Happy App” Bug Gone Wild |
Tommy Potentuary |
| October 28, 2020 |
Status Of The Realm Of Ideas |
Aldus Humbleton |
| October 28, 2020 |
The Resilience Of Pastrami Man |
Ludwig Andre Hogan |
| October 28, 2020 |
Monkey Phrases Come To Life |
Adam Stein |
| October 28, 2020 |
Pedro Stein, Un Secretary-general: |
Adam Stein |
| October 28, 2020 |
Fundamentalism For Green |
Captain Colorful |
| October 28, 2020 |
Title: Asian City Under Assault By The Times |
By: Zulu Z. Zulu |
| October 28, 2020 |
The City Of Jehovah |
Mayor Pete Davidson |
| October 28, 2020 |
A Tender Moment |
Engelbert Humperdinck |
| October 28, 2020 |
A Plea For Help From The Planet Of Dearth |
John Doe |
| October 28, 2020 |
Gender Reveal Causes Tornado |
Bartholomew Bax |
| October 28, 2020 |
How To Smoke Dandelions |
Charleigh Clark |
| October 28, 2020 |
Task Tony Episode 1 |
Tony Pepperoni |
| October 28, 2020 |
"Sane Asylum" Opening Near You |
Tommy Potentuary |
| October 28, 2020 |
Write For Us |
The Editors |
| October 28, 2020 |
For Lease: My Grandmother’s Voice In A Box |
Charleigh Clark |
| October 28, 2020 |
10 Essential Weasel Montgomery Jones Records |
Flip Gilligan |
| September 23, 2020 |
Community Classifieds |
Management |
| September 23, 2020 |
The Hero's Journey: Spider Wearing a Hat |
Elyse Galan |
| September 23, 2020 |
Pro-Reality Gang Sentenced to Sane Assylum |
Carl Mon |
| September 23, 2020 |
Meet the denizens of my cyst, You Dirty Dog |
The Inanimate Empathist |
| September 23, 2020 |
Exciting Performance At Exhibit to be Unveiled |
Vivian Mauve |
| September 23, 2020 |
Luxury Space Lake Open for Family Fun |
Tommy Potentuary |
| September 23, 2020 |
Tales of The Kandy Kingpin |
Doctor Rotcod |
| September 23, 2020 |
It Finally Came In The Mail |
Louie Howden |
| September 23, 2020 |
In Troubled Times, Skatebirder Spreads Calm |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| September 23, 2020 |
Questions: Would you Rather? |
Paul Krueger |
| September 23, 2020 |
Drunk Hotline Available Now |
Tommy Potentuary |
| September 23, 2020 |
Please, Replace Your Teeth With Small Rodents |
Kitty Collins |
| September 23, 2020 |
Dear Jupiter: My Best Friend Froze Herself |
Jupiter |
| September 23, 2020 |
Existential Dread Down the Drain |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| September 23, 2020 |
Inexperience Pilots Needed |
* Advertisement * |
| September 23, 2020 |
Sky Bottling Uncovered |
Pleakley Pow Pow |
| September 23, 2020 |
Scooter Coolman Finds A Lover |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| September 23, 2020 |
Dental Delinquent On The Loose |
Gum Girl |
| September 23, 2020 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 31 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| August 16, 2020 |
WHERE DID PAST MATT HIDE MY CIGARETTES? |
Future Matt |
| August 16, 2020 |
Letters to The Editor |
Various |
| August 16, 2020 |
Alan Partridge Returns With Advice |
Alan Partridge |
| August 16, 2020 |
Blip in The Axioms of The Universe |
Common Observer |
| August 16, 2020 |
Big Animal Planet or Big Animal Hoax |
Cryptic Mark |
| August 15, 2020 |
Profile: The Skatebirder |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| August 8, 2020 |
Preservationism: A Manifesto |
Leonid Chelmsford |
| August 6, 2020 |
Not Enough Karma For Hands |
Common Observer |
| August 6, 2020 |
Airplane Stuck in Orbit |
Carl Mon |
| July 29, 2020 |
Volcano Gods Demand Tribute |
Grand Elder Edna |
| July 26, 2020 |
Probabilistic Fatal Justice System To Take Effect Monday |
Tommy Potentuary |
| July 26, 2020 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 30 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| July 21, 2020 |
Account: Hand Sanitizing Vigilantism Saves the World |
Carl Mon |
| July 12, 2020 |
Third Eye's Brew |
Murry Eyeball |
| May 27, 2020 |
Live News Broadcast |
The Editors |
| May 17, 2020 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 29 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| May 17, 2020 |
Community Classifieds |
The Editors |
| May 17, 2020 |
Man Suffers Cell Merging Disorder |
Aaron Friedman |
| May 17, 2020 |
Love Story |
Matt Languadoc |
| May 17, 2020 |
Bihexical Comic |
Cro Raka |
| May 17, 2020 |
Bird Funeral, At Least You Know, A Public Notary |
The Gulled One |
| May 17, 2020 |
Wife Dressed Up As Stray Anteater Surprised as Husband Shows Potential for Pet Care |
Maaye Pujhol |
| May 12, 2020 |
Fleeting Touches on Other's Lives |
Songsinger |
| May 12, 2020 |
Line Life: Health and Wellness using Lines |
Theodore Munnely |
| May 7, 2020 |
Testy Time Travelers Take Time-out, Investigating Teleportation |
Hedwig the Hangry |
| May 7, 2020 |
Woman Uses Eyeballs as Toys |
Common Observer |
| May 7, 2020 |
Genetics For Hire |
Doctor Rotcod |
| May 7, 2020 |
Time Travel Candy for Curious Tongues |
Margaretta Fleese |
| May 7, 2020 |
Letter to the Editor: I am Hiding Future Matt's Ciggarettes |
Past Matt |
| May 5, 2020 |
Let's Paint a Picture: Trout Fishing |
Vivian Mauve |
| May 5, 2020 |
Woman Fell In Love With A Yeast Infection |
Common Observer |
| May 5, 2020 |
Man Wakes Up As Words on The Page of a Book |
Carl Mon |
| May 5, 2020 |
Blargo is Back |
Billy Nodges |
| May 5, 2020 |
Conversations Overheard: Lobster Mac & Cheese |
Phillis "Psychic Philip" Phillips |
| May 5, 2020 |
How "Toxic" By Britney Spears Saved Humankind From Destruction |
Flip Gilligan |
| May 5, 2020 |
Jim Morrison Support Group Meeting Cancelled |
Surreal Times News Team |
| April 28, 2020 |
Attendence Required At Imagining Abundance Event |
Tommy Potentuary |
| April 28, 2020 |
New Trend To Communicate With Babies In Womb |
Carl Mon |
| April 26, 2020 |
A New Generation Of Media |
Surreal Times News Team |
| April 24, 2020 |
Local Crackpot Offers Contact-Free Mutterings |
Surreal Times News Team |
| April 23, 2020 |
Invasive Tree Grows Writhing Rats |
Tom Johnson |
| April 17, 2020 |
Giraffe Movement |
Skye |
| March 12, 2020 |
A Parable of Lost Souls |
Captain Colorful |
| March 12, 2020 |
Warning |
Leah Kaliski |
| March 12, 2020 |
How Iblis Met Nature |
Cro Raka |
| March 12, 2020 |
The Occation Event and other Events |
The Editors |
| March 12, 2020 |
Elderly Artist Grows into Oak Tree |
The Editors |
| March 4, 2020 |
Events Listings |
The Editors |
| March 4, 2020 |
Community Classifieds |
The Editors |
| March 4, 2020 |
Bihexical Search b28 |
Armädeius Galouei's Surrogate |
| March 4, 2020 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 28 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| March 1, 2020 |
Slug Delivery Not Controversial |
Tommy Potentuary |
| March 1, 2020 |
#savecrabs Movement Sweeping The Country |
Paul Kruger |
| March 1, 2020 |
The Banjoman Stalks Amherst |
Roberto Piccolo |
| March 1, 2020 |
The Tree Folk Will Stop The Banjoman Menace |
By Senior Hoff Ricko No-Wicko |
| March 1, 2020 |
Quiet Mortimer: I Will Cut The Banjomans Strings |
quiet mortimer |
| March 1, 2020 |
“Pimp My Brain” Will Blow Your Mind |
Tommy Potentuary |
| March 1, 2020 |
Pupil Stage Of Noise Moths Discovered |
Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler |
| March 1, 2020 |
Letter To The Editor: A Confession |
Casaul Lucada |
| March 1, 2020 |
Woman Plays Violin During Brain Surgery |
Freak Funk Frank |
| March 1, 2020 |
Selected Not-news Since 1973 |
Frank Earhorn |
| March 1, 2020 |
Discovery Of Junkyard Jukebox: Orchestrion Of Dreams |
Pleakley Pow Pow |
| March 1, 2020 |
Dumpster Squids Migrate To Mud Puddles |
A Concerned Citizen |
| March 1, 2020 |
Dear Jupiter: My Biological Father Is Abraham Lincoln |
Jupiter |
| March 1, 2020 |
Fireworks At The Convergence Bowl |
Common Observer |
| February 29, 2020 |
Piety: A Review |
Cryptic Mark |
| February 29, 2020 |
Rest In Peace With Ripper Linda |
Ripper Linda |
| February 29, 2020 |
Salvation Of Gleez Mission Fails Due To Problematic Greg |
Kangarth Jragzip |
| February 29, 2020 |
Book Review: Voldemort Goes To Hawaii |
Professor Nutmeg |
| February 29, 2020 |
My First Line Training Experience |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 29, 2020 |
An Unsolved Case: Hand Disembodiment On The Charles |
Tom Johnson |
| February 29, 2020 |
An Encounter With The Demon That Does Good |
Vivian Mauve |
| February 29, 2020 |
Horror Film Critics Putting Masked Maniacs Out Of Work |
Hockey Face |
| January 25, 2020 |
Demon that Does Good Visits Easthampton |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| January 25, 2020 |
Community Classifieds |
The Editors |
| January 25, 2020 |
God and Jake |
The Mysterious M |
| January 25, 2020 |
Bihexical Comic |
Cro Raka |
| January 25, 2020 |
Bihexical Search b27 |
Armädeius Galouei's Surrogate |
| January 25, 2020 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 27 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| January 25, 2020 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 26 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| January 25, 2020 |
Letter To The Editor: I Warn You: I Watch You And Your Ideas |
Earth Cow |
| January 25, 2020 |
Hair Salad Grows In Your Stomach |
Whaler S. Fishpole |
| January 25, 2020 |
Return Hair Anywhere Spray To The People |
Whaler S. Fishpole |
| January 25, 2020 |
Geography By George: The Kentucky Bend |
George the Geographer |
| January 25, 2020 |
Sewer Snorts Make Downtown A Minefield |
Common Observer |
| January 25, 2020 |
Mutant Animals Want Entrance To The Idea Realm As Well |
Aldus Humbleton |
| January 25, 2020 |
Squid Wrangling Methods |
Dave Fingle |
| January 25, 2020 |
Flip Gilligan's Guide For Listening To "kid A" By Radiohead |
Flip Gilligan |
| January 25, 2020 |
Chiptooth Kindergarten Receives Funding, Updates Curriculum |
Mrs. Porter |
| January 25, 2020 |
Man Who Habitully Covers Himself In Twigs At Ball Field Questioned |
Vivian Mauve |
| January 25, 2020 |
Opinion: Nuclear Won’t Last |
Aldus Humbleton |
| January 25, 2020 |
60 More Star Wars Films Planned For Release By 2030 |
Martin “Marty” Kovacs |
| January 25, 2020 |
Collective Cattle Consciousness Claps Carnivores |
Aldus Humbleton |
| January 25, 2020 |
Closet Man Report |
Delana (DelTaco) Fausett |
| January 25, 2020 |
Two Friends Discuss The Nature Of Mind, Body, And Personal Identity |
Cryptic Mark |
| January 25, 2020 |
Explosive Feast At The Gin Mill |
Common Observer |
| January 25, 2020 |
Reality: An Inescapable Eternity, Or A Failed Century-long Experiment |
Ezra Ryder |
| January 25, 2020 |
A Dream Is Simply A Wasted 8-hour Rest Cycle |
Loomis Taunch |
| January 25, 2020 |
Surreal Times Marching Orders |
The Editors |
| January 25, 2020 |
Account: Misinterpretation Of Signs |
Bresson Frank |
| January 25, 2020 |
Conjoined Headmunk Appears Ambivalent |
Sherry Wolverton |
| January 3, 2020 |
Surreal Times Now Offering Newspaper Delivery |
The Editors |
| December 24, 2019 |
Demon that Does Good Coming to Easthampton |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Weather Report |
Cro Raka |
| December 6, 2019 |
Community Classifieds |
The Editors |
| December 6, 2019 |
Human Hair Salad: Is It Canabalism? |
Derek Nussbaum |
| December 6, 2019 |
An Ancient Graveyard |
Alan Partridge |
| December 6, 2019 |
Is Happy Greens Vegetable Farm An Insidious Cult? |
Ludwig Andre Hogan |
| December 6, 2019 |
Elites Hoard Hair Anywhere Spray |
Whaler S. Fishpole |
| December 6, 2019 |
The Operation Was A Success But The Patient Was Dead |
The Crooked Spoke |
| December 6, 2019 |
Continued Last Journals Of Klip The Seagull |
Graham Rapier |
| December 6, 2019 |
Learn To Lucid Dream |
Cro Raka |
| December 6, 2019 |
Free TV Stand Stolen |
The Dumb Banana |
| December 6, 2019 |
Letter To The Editors: Black Moon |
Gerald Yelle |
| December 6, 2019 |
Advertisement: The Finch Inc. Homing Lobster |
Finney Finch |
| December 6, 2019 |
PIA Defeated By The Reality Supremacists |
Carl Mon |
| December 6, 2019 |
Review Of Maplewood 5 |
Vivian Mauve and Dernernberger Spengleton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Chiptooth Kindergarten Holiday Auditing! |
Mrs. Porter |
| December 6, 2019 |
Guided Thoughts 2 |
Aldus Humbleton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Designer Birth Control Not Safe |
Tom Johnson |
| December 6, 2019 |
Win Big At The Object Lottery |
Tommy Potentuary |
| December 6, 2019 |
Surrealist Media Organizations Join Forces |
The Editors |
| December 6, 2019 |
Culture Corner: Fiddler On The Roof Opens This Thursday |
Ridley Stump |
| December 6, 2019 |
Account: Hearsay Heresy |
Soosberg |
| December 6, 2019 |
Opinion: Eat Blue Aliens For Morals And Sustainability |
Aldus Humbleton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Rabbit Hole Traps Halt Safety |
Tom Johnson |
| December 6, 2019 |
Sanctuary Animals Uploaded To The Realm Of Ideas |
Aldus Humbleton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Collegian Did Not Start Newsbox Fires |
Tom Johnson |
| December 6, 2019 |
Inanimate Empathist Breaking And Entering |
Tom Johnson |
| December 6, 2019 |
Ball Players Disciplined |
Sherry Wolverton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Builders Leave Backdoors for Tyranical Ants |
Carl Mon |
| December 6, 2019 |
Holiday Wish List |
The Editors |
| December 6, 2019 |
The Bihexical Search |
Armädeius Galouei's Surrogate |
| November 11, 2019 |
Weather Report |
WeatherJ |
| November 11, 2019 |
Status of the Gord |
The Gord's Keeper |
| November 3, 2019 |
Gas Leafblowers a Public Health Hazard |
Anonymous |
| November 3, 2019 |
Photo of Butterfly |
Anonymous |
| November 3, 2019 |
Photo of Revolutionary Unicorn |
Anonymous |
| November 3, 2019 |
Photo of Hole |
Anonymous |
| November 3, 2019 |
Moth Suffers Ill Fate |
Charleigh Clark |
| November 3, 2019 |
Photo of Leg |
Anonymous |
| November 3, 2019 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 25 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| November 3, 2019 |
Clock World Ticks On |
Ben Guerrieo |
| November 2, 2019 |
Diary Of Edna Cooper Uncovered |
Edna Cooper |
| November 2, 2019 |
Slimeball Secretes When Scared |
FunkFreakFrank |
| November 2, 2019 |
Help Me! Do I Smell Like Cough Syrup? |
Anonymous ad placer |
| November 2, 2019 |
Strange Entity In The Woods Out West Can Send You To A Peaceful Place But You Won’t Ever Return |
V. Mauve |
| November 2, 2019 |
Shoe Communication For My Fellow Shyfolk! |
ShyGuy |
| November 2, 2019 |
Guided Thoughts Number One |
Aldus Humbleton |
| November 2, 2019 |
This Is About You |
V. Mauve |
| November 2, 2019 |
I Almost Joined A Cult And Was Glad About It |
V. Mauve and Sebastian Pingas |
| November 2, 2019 |
Surprise Inverse Birth Rattles The Community |
Common Observer |
| November 2, 2019 |
Opinion: I Love Tinnitus |
Chadborne Prendergast |
| November 2, 2019 |
A Poem By Death Itself |
Graham Rapier |
| November 2, 2019 |
Newspaper Box Fires |
Sherry Wolverton |
| November 2, 2019 |
Std Ray Gun Stolen |
Ned Greebly |
| November 2, 2019 |
Hippies Vandalize Stone Motorhome |
Tom Johnson |
| November 2, 2019 |
Placenta And Loneliness, At Least For Now |
The Collective |
| November 2, 2019 |
Blue Alien Petting Zoo Coming To Amherst |
Charlie Tomquat |
| November 2, 2019 |
Television Host Ambivalent About His Job |
Anonymous |
| November 2, 2019 |
Fins And Legs Plan An Offspring |
The Collective |
| November 2, 2019 |
Serious Man Failed By His Steed Who Took Too Much Acid |
The Collective |
| November 2, 2019 |
Island Has Confusing Experience |
Unnamed Island |
| November 2, 2019 |
How I Transitioned Into A New Form |
Anew Nema |
| November 2, 2019 |
On Cornflower Blue Thoughts |
The Collective |
| November 2, 2019 |
Tomlinson LLC Experiences Workplace Friction |
BoobnBob |
| November 2, 2019 |
In Pursuit Of A Smooth Marriage |
BoobnBob |
| November 2, 2019 |
The Last Journals Of Klip The Seagull |
Graham Rapier |
| November 2, 2019 |
Droids Invade Love |
Dr. Harold S. Pirog |
| November 2, 2019 |
Hypercube Confessions And The Future |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| November 2, 2019 |
Selected Not-news Since 1973 |
Frank Earhorn |
| November 2, 2019 |
The Carousel Of Unending Happiness Vii |
Ophelia Jones |
| November 2, 2019 |
A Few Words |
Charleigh Clark |
| November 2, 2019 |
Demand: Show Me The Face Of Wisdom |
Hank T. Joseph |
| November 2, 2019 |
What We Crave |
Clist Cthrutchy |
| November 2, 2019 |
A Missive To The Editors Of The Surreal Times |
Alan Partridge |
| November 2, 2019 |
Ant Coordinator Is Criminal, Police Do Nothing |
Carl Mon |
| November 2, 2019 |
The Fate Of Hotdog Attack Victims |
Carl Mon |
| November 1, 2019 |
Dear Jupiter: My Boyfriend Turned Me Into a Vampire And Dumped Me |
Jupiter |
| October 23, 2019 |
Kindergaten Learning Shines Like The Sun |
Mrs Porter |
| October 22, 2019 |
International Arms Deal At The Snake's Nest |
Shock Johnson |
| October 15, 2019 |
Fire Breathing Lizards Hatch In Allston |
M. Mumford |
| October 15, 2019 |
The Best Kind of Music: Gregorian Whispering |
quiet mortimer |
| October 5, 2019 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 24 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| October 5, 2019 |
Reality Supremacists Go Violent |
Carl Mon |
| October 5, 2019 |
Partial Devastation, Questions Follow Maritime Disaster |
Mad Christopher van Eyck, Sr |
| October 5, 2019 |
The Carousel of Unending Happiness |
Your RingMaster |
| October 5, 2019 |
Sex With Brain Parasites Goes Mainstream |
Ed Nucklebalm |
| October 5, 2019 |
Serial Chakra Unaligner Walks Streets |
Maximo Piccolo |
| October 5, 2019 |
Realm of Ideas at Full Width |
Aldus Humbleton |
| October 5, 2019 |
Basketball Game Turns Into Cooking Game Show |
Boobnbob |
| October 5, 2019 |
Jesus Reincarnated Before My Eyes |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 5, 2019 |
Writer Glitches STD Ray Gun |
Ned Greebly |
| October 4, 2019 |
The Film Critic's Homunculus |
Ryan Cameron |
| October 4, 2019 |
Breakthrough: Subtle Divine Contact |
Theodore Munnely |
| October 4, 2019 |
Participate in Novelty on the InterHarmony App |
Theodore Munnely |
| October 4, 2019 |
Intelligent Life Destroying Itself |
Ferdinand Maxwell |
| October 4, 2019 |
Cyborg Baby Causes Chaos in Munich |
Vidyadama Brencobcharl |
| October 4, 2019 |
DJ Gooba To Play at Alien Market |
Tommy Potentuary |
| October 4, 2019 |
Workers Cooperative Hiring All Species Comanagers |
Charlie Tomquat |
| October 3, 2019 |
Larping Kids Cause a Ruckus |
Tom Johnson |
| October 3, 2019 |
Letter From The Foreign Dreams Correspondent |
Alan Partridge |
| October 3, 2019 |
A Short Treatise on Insects and Loneliness |
Cro Raka |
| October 3, 2019 |
Geographic Oddity Between The Stans |
George The Geographer |
| October 3, 2019 |
Gulled One Quiet No More |
The Gulled One |
| October 3, 2019 |
Common Man Builds Amazing Inspectrograph |
Common Observer |
| October 3, 2019 |
An Unexpected Source of Calm |
Brendovic Leebac |
| October 3, 2019 |
PSA To Wet Robot Canoodlers |
Tom Johnson |
| October 3, 2019 |
A Letter of Recruitment to a Novelty Prodigy |
Theodore Munnely |
| October 3, 2019 |
Piss Potability Activists Give Us The Piss |
Himturr Shnottz |
| October 3, 2019 |
Ants Join Arms at The Strait of Gibraltar |
Carl Mon |
| October 3, 2019 |
The Conspiracy of The Crows |
Rudy Raultz |
| October 3, 2019 |
Ants Construct Germ Lab With Stolen Viruses |
Carl Mon |
| October 3, 2019 |
Weaponized Hair-Moss Hybrid Super Spy |
Carl Mon |
| September 26, 2019 |
Surreal Yodeller Walks the Streets of Boston |
Yellow Pete |
| September 26, 2019 |
Dear Jupiter: I Am Jealous of The Alternate-Reality Version of Myself |
Jupiter |
| September 19, 2019 |
Magazine Joins the Surrealist Frontlines |
The Editors |
| September 4, 2019 |
Emergent Artificial Intelligence Sends Cryptic Message |
Carl Mon |
| September 4, 2019 |
The Mechanical Fellow Warns Us of His Counterpart |
The Mechanical Fellow |
| September 4, 2019 |
Mechanical Man Spotted in Boston |
Samantha Kicsi |
| September 4, 2019 |
Dear Jupiter: "I'm a Formless Ball of Light, and I don't want my boyfriend to know." |
Jupiter |
| September 4, 2019 |
Very Small Dinosaur Spotted at Faneuil Hall |
Eliza Newman |
| August 30, 2019 |
A CALL TO ACTION ON THE SURREALIST FRONTLINES |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| June 17, 2019 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 22 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| June 17, 2019 |
Pioneer Valley Urine Found to Be Not Potable |
Kenneth Power-Ranger |
| June 17, 2019 |
People Advised to Castrate Their Flowers |
Aldus Humbleton |
| June 17, 2019 |
Alien Farmers Market in my Backyard |
Charlie Tomquat |
| June 17, 2019 |
Community Classifieds |
Management |
| June 17, 2019 |
Designer Birth Control on The Rise |
Tommy Potentuary |
| June 17, 2019 |
Ode to Lobotomies |
Your Neighbor |
| June 17, 2019 |
On Underground Electricity Canals |
Theodore Munnely |
| June 17, 2019 |
Optometrist Takes New Approach |
BoobnBob |
| June 17, 2019 |
Blue Wall: Blown to Bits |
Rio Calais |
| June 17, 2019 |
Chimp Joe Safe at Alien Commune |
Ron Gutterston |
| June 17, 2019 |
Carny Hosts Mindfulness Game Show |
Common Observer |
| June 17, 2019 |
Correspondence on Foreign Dreams |
Alan Partridge |
| June 17, 2019 |
I've Lost My Jack of Hearts |
The Streuufin-Hoffer Boy |
| June 17, 2019 |
Head of PIA Hotdogged |
Carl Mon |
| June 17, 2019 |
Sunderland Mound Growing |
Sherry Wolverton |
| June 17, 2019 |
Top 13 Ball Moments |
Sherry Wolverton |
| June 17, 2019 |
For Amherst, With Bees in Mind |
Charlie Tomquat |
| June 17, 2019 |
Logs of Earl Bristol Goddard Published |
The Purple Hermit |
| June 17, 2019 |
Carousel of Unending Happiness Lies In The Home of The Walking Dead |
Charleigh Clark |
| June 16, 2019 |
Account: Victim of Crows |
Tom Johnson |
| June 16, 2019 |
Advanced Carnival Will Do Extraordinary Things |
Fechy Honcon |
| June 16, 2019 |
Death By Halal |
Tom Johnson |
| June 16, 2019 |
Eyeball Juice Stand A Success |
Tommy Potentuary |
| May 22, 2019 |
The Novelty Manifesto |
Eddie Octo |
| May 21, 2019 |
Honey Alliance Coop Opening Its Gates |
Cro Raka |
| May 21, 2019 |
Ant Coordinator Resigns Post |
Clarence Mon |
| May 21, 2019 |
Occultist Ball Graveyard Growing Rapidly |
Sherry Wolverton |
| May 21, 2019 |
CC: Hallucinations Wanted |
Gustav |
| May 21, 2019 |
A Note on Some People I Met During a Year Spent As Surreal Times Interesting Person Contact |
Charleigh Clark |
| May 21, 2019 |
The Sunken Head Says Bye and Somni Says Hi |
The Narrator |
| May 21, 2019 |
Group of Mistreated Plants Attack Herb Gardens, Flower Beds |
The Purple Hermit |
| May 21, 2019 |
Grieving in the Wake of An Idiot Alien's Deportation |
Ron Gutterston |
| May 21, 2019 |
Encounters of the Tweener Trinketeer Date Back to Early 70s |
Melanie Richardson |
| May 21, 2019 |
Microscopic Seafarers Discovered at Puffer's Pond |
Roberto Piccolo |
| May 21, 2019 |
The Mechanical Fellow: As The Humans By The Pond Stalk, With The Tiny People I Will Talk |
Roberto Piccolo |
| May 21, 2019 |
Novelty Vandals Reconfigure West Cemetery |
Clarence Mon |
| May 21, 2019 |
Hot Dog Pranks Legal But Not Okay |
Tom Johnson |
| May 21, 2019 |
She's in the Carousel of Unending Happiness Now |
Your RingMaster |
| May 21, 2019 |
My Name is Mr. Terrible And I Just Like to Sneak Around |
Mr. Terrible |
| May 16, 2019 |
The Vow of Loudness Must be Silenced |
quiet mortimer |
| May 16, 2019 |
CALIFORNIA SOCK PUPPET MAN ESCAPES SECRET FACILITY |
Sax Tuba |
| May 15, 2019 |
The Story of Time |
Cryptic Mark |
| May 14, 2019 |
Metal Tree Erected Atop Mountain |
Clarence Mon |
| May 14, 2019 |
In Response to A Study In Cow Pelt And Citrus |
The Inanimate Empathist |
| May 13, 2019 |
These Things Are Innocent |
Eddy Cruise |
| May 13, 2019 |
Visions of Emerald Sea Sweep Amherst |
The Editors |
| May 13, 2019 |
I Have Seen The Emerald Sea |
Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| May 13, 2019 |
Mission Statement |
The Editors |
| May 13, 2019 |
The Mechanical Fellow Saves Us From The Noise Moths Crisis |
Tommy Potentuary |
| May 10, 2019 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 21 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| May 10, 2019 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 20 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| April 21, 2019 |
Novelty code 2 |
The Editors |
| April 21, 2019 |
Novelty code 1 |
The Editors |
| April 20, 2019 |
Eddie: The Octopus Stings |
Luap Killner |
| April 16, 2019 |
Writers, Distributors Wanted! |
The Editors |
| April 16, 2019 |
Have You Seen The Balloon With Teeth |
Melanie Richardson |
| April 16, 2019 |
Les Quatre Dialogues Studiex |
Multiple |
| April 16, 2019 |
RCSC Distribution Begins |
Tommy Potentuary |
| April 16, 2019 |
Carousel of Unending Happiness Nearing |
Your RingMaster |
| April 16, 2019 |
Man Spots Fire Hydrant In Desert |
The Editors |
| April 16, 2019 |
Woman Rashly Consumes Leg Seed |
Anonymous |
| April 16, 2019 |
Pop Magazine Pivots Focus Away from The Animate |
BoobnBob |
| April 16, 2019 |
Man Grows Auxiliary Mind |
Clarence Mon |
| April 16, 2019 |
Student Has Unconventional Taste |
Gabriella Grondalski |
| April 16, 2019 |
Need For Charles: Darling Haunted in Cali |
Hank T. Joseph |
| April 16, 2019 |
Perspective: Aquarius Is A Bitch |
Anonymous Offspring |
| April 16, 2019 |
Looking Forward to The Return of Toad Kill Flame-Tire |
Elijah Groust |
| April 16, 2019 |
Hooded Woman Dies in Butterfield Dorm |
Tom Johnson |
| April 16, 2019 |
Spengleton's Partner Returns to Instigate a Novel Swap |
Common Observer |
| April 16, 2019 |
Tree-climbing Student Attacked By Spear |
Tom Johnson |
| April 16, 2019 |
Interview With NASA Computer Scientist |
The Purple Hermit |
| April 16, 2019 |
Hot New Place to Live: Centralia Pennsylvania |
Tommy Potentuary |
| April 16, 2019 |
An Account on The English Language |
Linguist Er |
| April 16, 2019 |
Dorf Deported After Altercations With Serr-Vo and The Mechanical Fellow |
Ron Gutterston |
| April 16, 2019 |
Account: The Mad Shark of The Monarchy |
The Mad Shark |
| April 16, 2019 |
The Weight of The Job and Who it Weighs On |
Graham Rapier |
| April 16, 2019 |
Mutual Hallucination Vape Pod: Enter the Cave |
Advertisement |
| April 16, 2019 |
Buttler Collective Seeks Information on Hobbling Jelly Filler |
BoobnBob |
| April 16, 2019 |
NASA "Oport2nity" Project Plagued by Unexplained Accidents |
The Purple Hermit |
| April 15, 2019 |
I Speak From Jail: Deluxe Papa is a Menace |
George S. Halfly |
| April 14, 2019 |
Deluxe Papa Vape Pods Hit Stores |
Roberto Piccolo |
| April 12, 2019 |
Noise Moths Escape Dorm, Ravage Vocal Cords |
William (Bill) Gumby |
| March 24, 2019 |
Journalist's Life Partner Goes Missing |
Tom Johnson |
| March 14, 2019 |
Rats Carry Messages Throughout Downtown |
Roberto Piccolo |
| March 14, 2019 |
Sexy Brain Parasite |
Marina Parella |
| March 14, 2019 |
Man In Castle-About-Which-World-Rotates Cannot Break Out or Be Broken Out |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 14, 2019 |
Novelty Code 3 |
The Editors |
| March 14, 2019 |
A Majestic Dance: A Crustacean's Art |
Cro Raka |
| March 14, 2019 |
A Study In Cow Pelt and Citrus |
Eddy Cruise |
| March 14, 2019 |
&-Pose Trend Sweeping Nation's Youth |
The Purple Hermit |
| March 14, 2019 |
Genius Offers Secrets |
BoobnBob |
| March 14, 2019 |
Revamping Cruel and Unusual Punishment in The Hampshire County Jail |
Common Observer |
| March 14, 2019 |
Wives Aspire to do Psychology Research |
BoobnBob |
| March 14, 2019 |
SGA Elections Delayed By Collective Burp |
Common Observer |
| March 13, 2019 |
For Sale: Noise Moths |
Whaler S. Fishpole |
| March 13, 2019 |
Ipsum Communications Satellite Aims Radar at 4th Moon of Jupiter |
The Purple Hermit |
| March 13, 2019 |
Hippo Causes Destruction Downtown |
BoobnBob |
| March 13, 2019 |
Website Down, People Deprived of News |
Armädeius Galouei |
| March 13, 2019 |
Account: I feed Myself to Myself |
Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler |
| March 12, 2019 |
Monstrous House Cat Donated to Shelter |
Opa Kaanrus |
| March 12, 2019 |
The Sunken Head Says "Hi" |
Anonymous |
| March 12, 2019 |
Destroyer of Blimp Going to Jail |
Tom Johnson |
| March 12, 2019 |
Take a Whiff of an Aroma Flick At The Aroma-Theatre Downtown Amherst |
Tommy Potentuary |
| March 12, 2019 |
Man In Castle-About-Which-World-Rotates Wishes To Leave His Castle |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 11, 2019 |
Profile: The Student Farm's Newest Caretaker |
The Purple Hermit |
| March 11, 2019 |
Mouth of Pig Discovered in Roadside Soup |
Zulu Z. Zulu |
| March 11, 2019 |
Man Who Won't Stop Talking Caught, Applauded |
Michael O’Really |
| March 11, 2019 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 19 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| March 11, 2019 |
Doorstep Toddlers Stealing Data |
Tom Johnson |
| March 7, 2019 |
Burp Rumbles Across Town |
Clarence Mon |
| February 26, 2019 |
Man In Castle-About-Which-The-World-Rotates Becomes Sickly |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 26, 2019 |
The Fall of The Former Martian Ambassador |
The Purple Hermit |
| February 24, 2019 |
Minor Scrapes, Tears, In Aftermath of High Rise Collapse |
Mad Christopher van Eyck, Sr |
| February 22, 2019 |
Local Student Finally Escapes Infinitely Looping Hallway, Angry He Missed Winter Break |
Sax Tuba |
| February 21, 2019 |
The Carousel of Unending Happiness Just Around a Corner And Under Your Nose |
Advertisement |
| February 21, 2019 |
A Secret Feast in Argentina |
Cro Raka |
| February 21, 2019 |
Knocking for Dreams |
Somoni Endadid |
| February 20, 2019 |
How To Reach the End of The World |
Cro Raka |
| February 20, 2019 |
Geese Departure Pushed Back Again |
Leila |
| February 20, 2019 |
A Study in Cow Pelt and Citrus |
Eddy Cruise |
| February 19, 2019 |
The Wake of The Tabun Needle Tragedy |
The Editors |
| February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Earnest Earhorn |
The Earhorn Family |
| February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Chuck Stylish |
The Stylish Family |
| February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Big Brass Bessie |
The Editors |
| February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Jeremy J. Jeremy |
The People With Repetitive Names Society |
| February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Dingus Hullentail |
The Hullentail Family |
| February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: The Last Pale Duck |
The Editors |
| February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Agatha Pendleton |
The Pendleton Family |
| February 18, 2019 |
Bihexical Search 18 |
Armädeius Galouei's Surrogate |
| February 18, 2019 |
Man In Castle Rejects Tour |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 18, 2019 |
Man In The Castle-About-Which-The-World-Rotates Is Disappointed |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 18, 2019 |
Humpty: Retold And Reborn |
Anonymous |
| February 17, 2019 |
y2k38 Is Not Just Another y2k |
Kurt Bonzo |
| February 17, 2019 |
High-quality Spot Found Downtown |
Clarence Mon |
| February 16, 2019 |
Archeological Records Suggest UMass Amherst is An Eternal Constant |
The Purple Hermit |
| February 16, 2019 |
Take The Vow Of Loudness |
Norman E. Constanza |
| February 16, 2019 |
Plane Destroys Blimp, Deadly Tabun Needles Rain Upon Civilians |
Tom Johnson |
| February 16, 2019 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 18 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| February 14, 2019 |
Le’tratte Storage LLC Thriving |
Tommy Potentuary |
| February 9, 2019 |
Cheap Storage in The Sky |
Tommy Potentuary |
| February 4, 2019 |
Dernberger Spengleton Appointed Tender to the Grand Conveyor |
The Editors |
| February 2, 2019 |
The Mechanical Fellow: "Humanity is on track for doom" |
The Mechanical Fellow |
| January 29, 2019 |
The Living Fountainhead: Sally Gomez Surfaces |
Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| January 28, 2019 |
Linda Peterson Freed: How Will She Redeem Herself? |
Dr. Linda Peterson |
| January 28, 2019 |
Accountant Missing: Have you seen Sally Gomez? |
Maria Gonzales |
| January 28, 2019 |
Rogue Woman Returns: "The Deadly Touch Tarantula |
Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| January 24, 2019 |
Castle About Which World Rotates: dweller unsatisfied, unable to paint or escape |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| January 23, 2019 |
Chimp Joe Leaves Jail Under Care of Lover |
Clarence Mon |
| January 22, 2019 |
Bill "Nerb" Elsasser to Sue Town For Killing Flowers |
Common Observer |
| January 22, 2019 |
Hair Anywhere Spray Serum Is Successful, Town Plagued by Baldness |
Page Tottman |
| January 17, 2019 |
Serum to Counter Hair Anywhere Spray |
Tom Johnson |
| January 17, 2019 |
Mound of Mixed Greens Appears in Cemetery |
Clarence Mon |
| January 13, 2019 |
Psychoactive Noise Moths Do Not Affect Humans |
Whaler S. Fishpole |
| January 9, 2019 |
Alfred Humbleton Repairing the Spectacular Isomorphism from Within The Realm of Ideas |
Armädeius Galouei's Surrogate |
| January 9, 2019 |
Peripheral Intelligence Agency Opens A New Office In NYC |
Clarence Mon |
| January 9, 2019 |
Join Our Cause |
The Editors |
| January 9, 2019 |
Pleasant Surprises Rise From The Roads of New York City |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| January 9, 2019 |
Response to "Sinners in The Hands of The Fake Sun" |
George S. Halfly |
| January 9, 2019 |
We Have Been Given Quandaries |
Tevobet Nope |
| January 9, 2019 |
Tabletalk Cries |
Tommy Origami |
| January 8, 2019 |
Man Boasts Castle About Which World Rotates |
“The oracle to which the world delivers its specimens” |
| January 7, 2019 |
Senior Hoff Dazzle-Razzle Magoogoo Forced Out of The Tree Folk |
The Editors |
| January 4, 2019 |
Senior Hoff Ricko No-Wicko: "YOU ARE ON NOTICE, SURREAL TIMES" |
Senior Hoff Ricko No-Wicko |
| January 4, 2019 |
Letter to the Editor: Who is Dorf? |
George S. Halfly |
| January 4, 2019 |
Whole Grain Bread Numbers Rising |
Clarence Mon |
| January 4, 2019 |
The Process Complete: R. Bottleby Gains Vague Telepathic Foresight |
Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| January 2, 2019 |
"Carousel of Unending Happiness" Coming This Spring |
Advertisement |
| January 2, 2019 |
Liquid Spewing from Hotel is No Longer Intelligence Boosting |
Carl Mon |
| January 2, 2019 |
Mullen: "You'll Get What You Want" |
Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler |
| December 30, 2018 |
Chimp Joe Found in Midst of Noise Moth Binge |
Tom Johnson |
| December 30, 2018 |
An Attempt on Dr. Linda Peterson's Life |
Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| December 30, 2018 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 17 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| December 27, 2018 |
Hair Anywhere Spray Banned Across the Pioneer Valley |
Tom Johnson |
| December 22, 2018 |
La Paz: City of Blue and Gold |
Cro Raka |
| December 22, 2018 |
Hampshire County Jail Bans Reptiles |
Common Observer |
| December 19, 2018 |
"Beware The Tabun Needle" |
Saul Smalls, with the help of an editor surviving the same illness |
| December 19, 2018 |
Ongoing Offshoot of Liquid From Mandarin Oriental Hotel to Groundly Mouths |
Carl Mon |
| December 19, 2018 |
Kid Cuppino to Play Amherst |
Roberto Piccolo |
| December 18, 2018 |
Advice: Keep Two Notes for a Growth-Focussed Life |
Youbus Leeftim |
| December 18, 2018 |
Butterfield Hall Uninhabitable Due To Noise Moth Infestation |
William (Bill) Gumby |
| December 18, 2018 |
The Great Terrifier Returns to Campus |
Cecelia Ceiling-Sealant |
| December 18, 2018 |
Chimpanzee Joe Missing |
Tom Johnson |
| December 18, 2018 |
Felines Divorce |
Salshim Hearsel |
| December 18, 2018 |
Same As It Ever Was .?. |
Graham Rapier |
| December 16, 2018 |
"Force-field" Surrounds Isenberg Campus |
The Purple Hermit |
| December 16, 2018 |
Sinners in The Hands of A Fake Sun |
Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| December 14, 2018 |
Reminder: Inform Children of The Dangers of Cig Jousting |
Imogene Larkley |
| December 13, 2018 |
Use Disassociex© To Fight Hair Anywhere Spray Forests |
Advertisement |
| December 13, 2018 |
Hair Anywhere Spray Engulfs Your Free Time |
Mistress Tumbly |
| December 13, 2018 |
Hair Anywhere Graffiti Grows Back When Cut |
Joe Tellie |
| December 12, 2018 |
Baron of Bullets Releases Cryptic Statement |
The Editors |
| December 12, 2018 |
Former Arms Dealer Assassinated |
Roberto Piccolo |
| December 11, 2018 |
My Visit With The Fugitive |
Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| December 11, 2018 |
Cryptid Caught: "Belmontian Gurp" Apprehended in Amherst Sewers |
Sax Tuba |
| December 10, 2018 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 16 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| December 10, 2018 |
Landscaping Companies On Call For Hair Anywhere Spray Emergencies |
Tom Johnson |
| December 4, 2018 |
Who is Chimpanzee Joe, The Surreal Times Newschimp? |
Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| December 3, 2018 |
May The Rodents Be Gone, Say the Elderly Children |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| November 30, 2018 |
Profile: The 'Overseer' Speaks Out On Isenberg Incident |
The Purple Hermit |
| November 27, 2018 |
Hair Graffiti Growing Wildly |
Joe Tellie |
| November 26, 2018 |
Random Act of Apathy |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| November 26, 2018 |
The Monks Speak: The Mysterious Man |
Roberto Piccolo |
| November 26, 2018 |
The Bihexical Search b15 |
Armädeius Galouei's Surrogate |
| November 26, 2018 |
Recipe for Alphabet Soup |
The Editors |
| November 26, 2018 |
New Theory Appears in Nazca |
Cro Raka |
| November 26, 2018 |
Honors College Begins Mushroom Operation On Finely-Shredded Hopes and Dreams |
The Purple Hermit |
| November 22, 2018 |
Hair Anywhere Graffiti Scoundrels Run Rampant |
Tom Johnson |
| November 21, 2018 |
Lobster Spawning Brigade Accidentally Descends On Amherst |
Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| November 20, 2018 |
Al Humbleton To Teleport into Realm of Ideas |
Alfred Humbleton |
| November 19, 2018 |
Downtown Disappearances: Possible Cryptid at Large |
Sax Tuba |
| November 19, 2018 |
Teenager Looses Tooth Cigarette Jousting |
Bernard Gigliotti |
| November 18, 2018 |
Hair Anywhere Spray Now in Rainbow Colors! |
Tommy Potentuary |
| November 18, 2018 |
Fortune Cookies Throw Insults |
Tom Johnson |
| November 16, 2018 |
Noise Moth Infestation in UMass Dormitory |
William (Bill) Gumby |
| November 16, 2018 |
Obituary: The Gulled One Has Pecked the Bucket |
The Editors |
| November 15, 2018 |
Rising Dissasociex Prices Linked to Midterms |
The Purple Hermit |
| November 15, 2018 |
The Pentagon Loses Edge, Becomes Square |
Dr. Oxford |
| November 14, 2018 |
Wanted: Time Machine |
"Lucky" Pete Sanchez |
| November 14, 2018 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 15 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| November 13, 2018 |
"Cigarette Jousting" -- A Danger To Our Youth |
Rebecca Winston |
| November 5, 2018 |
The Bihexical Search b14 |
Armädeius Galouei's Surrogate |
| November 5, 2018 |
Surreal Paraguay |
Cro Raka |
| November 5, 2018 |
Honor to The Search |
The Editors |
| November 5, 2018 |
Riddles By Eyebrows |
Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler |
| October 31, 2018 |
Micro-economists Combine Energy to Form Single Macro-economist |
The Purple Hermit |
| October 29, 2018 |
A Letter to a Friend Tossed in The Wind.?. |
Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler |
| October 28, 2018 |
Truck Breeding Season Returns After 100 Year Absence |
Clarence Mon |
| October 28, 2018 |
Words Discover How To Make Love |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 28, 2018 |
I Hereby Endorse Whorf's Cactus Balm |
Peter “Mini-P” Petrinksi |
| October 28, 2018 |
Whorf's Cactus Balm: A Cure For Degeneracy |
Emmanuel E. Whorf |
| October 25, 2018 |
A New Stage of The Problem of The Upper Half Of The Man Cut into Two By A Window |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 24, 2018 |
Hoards of Stolen Personal Diaries Found in Tent in Forest |
Clarence Mon |
| October 23, 2018 |
Ode to Seagulls |
Carët “Egg” Ozoné |
| October 21, 2018 |
Street Light Won't Pipe Down |
Clarence Mon |
| October 21, 2018 |
Hair Anywhere Spray Now in Stores |
Tommy Potentuary |
| October 20, 2018 |
Scale Replica of Amherst Discovered Miles Under Amherst |
The Purple Hermit |
| October 20, 2018 |
From the mouth of the pig 14 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| October 20, 2018 |
From the mouth of the pig 13 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| October 18, 2018 |
Cartographers Grossly Overestimate The Size of Liechtenstein |
George the Geographer |
| October 15, 2018 |
The Surreal Three Split |
Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| October 15, 2018 |
I Did Not Give The Surreal Five The Thirteen-Second Frequency |
Juan Ramirez |
| October 12, 2018 |
The Surreal Five Are Now The Surreal Three & Will Make Permanent Their Sickness |
Roberto Piccolo |
| October 11, 2018 |
A Facebook Status From Pavlo Polertski |
The Editors |
| October 10, 2018 |
Mikey Reviews: Woke Foods Inc. - New “Conspiracy” Themed Family Restaurant |
Mikey McCall |
| October 9, 2018 |
We Are Not Kings After All |
The Purple Hermit |
| October 9, 2018 |
The Martians Are Here, and it is Glorious |
The Purple Hermit |
| October 7, 2018 |
Dodge Responsibilites with New Disassociex©! |
Advertisement |
| October 5, 2018 |
Man Shows Vulnerability, Successfully Apprehended |
Aleister Frost |
| October 5, 2018 |
Florida Parents Acquire Vending Machine to Feed Children |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 4, 2018 |
New Research Out of The University of Dortmund |
The Editors |
| October 4, 2018 |
Community Bikes Sustainably Kick |
Clarence Mon |
| October 4, 2018 |
Pablo Little Hospitalized After Dangerous Vision |
Roberto Piccolo |
| October 4, 2018 |
Beloved Surreal Times Reporter Zulu Z. Zulu Wanted Dead or Alive |
Giles Squin |
| October 3, 2018 |
His Name Is Mr. Terrible and He Just Likes to Sneak Around |
Ron Gutterston |
| October 2, 2018 |
A Letter To My Brother |
Saul Smalls |
| October 2, 2018 |
Richard Smalls' Statement |
The Editors |
| October 1, 2018 |
Bonkers Bozos Think the Answer is in The Past |
Alfred Humbleton |
| September 30, 2018 |
"The Thirteen-second Frequency Will Free Us" |
The Editors |
| September 29, 2018 |
Who Exposed the Surreal Five to H-33? |
Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| September 27, 2018 |
Police Chief Gonzales: Info Wanted on Traveler |
The Editors |
| September 27, 2018 |
What Professor Ramirez Said to the Surreal Five |
Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| September 27, 2018 |
Wendy Yoon: "I'm doing it for the dreams." |
Roberto Piccolo |
| September 27, 2018 |
Professor Ramirez Reemerges |
Peter “Mini-P” Petrinski |
| September 26, 2018 |
Become Rich and Satisfied By Living at One With Nature |
Tommy Potentuary |
| September 25, 2018 |
An Overview of Surreality, Surreality Exposure, and Hyper-Mundanity |
The Editors |
| September 25, 2018 |
Come See The Human Zoo In Central Park! |
Tommy Potentuary |
| September 24, 2018 |
A Joint Statement From The Surreal Five |
The Editors |
| September 23, 2018 |
Is There A Seven-Second Frequency? |
Peter “Mini-P” Petrinksi |
| September 20, 2018 |
Questionable Hustle in Central Park: HUMAN ZOO |
Tom Johnson |
| September 19, 2018 |
The Surreal Five Speak Out: “Our Brains Are Surreal Now And We Like It That Way.” |
The Editors |
| September 18, 2018 |
H-33 Explained |
Eddie Octo |
| September 17, 2018 |
Five UMass Students Exposed to Mind-Altering Chemical H-33 |
Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| September 9, 2018 |
"I Have Discovered the Parallel Universes", says The Mad Cartographer |
Richard R. Mohamed |
| September 3, 2018 |
Two Men Were in the Middle of a Life Changing Moment |
Cryptic Mark |
| August 30, 2018 |
The Spot Director Kerm Fergus Goes Missing |
Steve Hackwood |
| August 27, 2018 |
The Spot Movie Lands Big Movie in Hot Water Following Alleged Copycat Crimes |
Steve Hackwood |
| August 23, 2018 |
"The Spot" Breaks Box Office Records, Becoming the Most Profitable Movie in History |
Steve Hackwood |
| August 22, 2018 |
PSA From The Editors |
The Editors |
| August 21, 2018 |
Free Eye Contact Services Look Away |
Mistress Tumbly |
| August 20, 2018 |
I, Bigfoot: "Leave Us Alone" |
Larry the Bigfoot |
| August 19, 2018 |
The Bigfeet Are Clearly KGB Spooks |
John Short |
| August 18, 2018 |
Bigfeet Are Legal And A "Bigfoot Crusade" Is Out Of The Question |
Maria Gonzales |
| August 17, 2018 |
Let Them Search |
Pablo Little |
| August 17, 2018 |
There Are No Bigfeet In Amherst, Stop This Delusion |
George S. Halfly |
| August 16, 2018 |
The Feathered Travesty: One Naturalist's Thoughts On An Unnatural Matter |
Peter “Mini-P” Petrinksi |
| August 15, 2018 |
Eddie Octo Achieves Surreal Engineering Masters Degree |
The Editors |
| August 13, 2018 |
An Update On The Mechanical Fellow |
The Editors |
| August 11, 2018 |
”I No Longer Recognize The Tree Folk”: Dazzle-Razzle Speaks Out |
Senior Hoff Dazzle-Razzle Magoogoo |
| August 11, 2018 |
The Tree Folk Under Pressure: A New Member Raises Tension |
Roberto Piccolo |
| August 9, 2018 |
The Surreal Enforcement Agency Is Formed |
The Editors |
| August 9, 2018 |
The Mechanical Chum: Thoughts On Our New Metal Friend |
Eddie Octo |
| August 8, 2018 |
The Mechanical Fellow Is A Mormon Communist Spook |
John Short |
| August 8, 2018 |
The Mechanical Fellow Should Be An Honorary Organism |
Peter “Mini-P” Petrinksi |
| August 8, 2018 |
The Mechanical Fellow is a Mechanical Menace |
George S. Halfly |
| August 8, 2018 |
Special Report: The Mechanical Fellow |
Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| August 6, 2018 |
Brave Help Wanted for Dangerous, Vital Work |
Maximillian C. Ramped |
| August 5, 2018 |
AN ACCOUNT OF: A MAN CUT IN TWO BY A WINDOW |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| August 2, 2018 |
Hope of Interplanetary Cordiality Extinguished |
Ron Gutterston |
| July 31, 2018 |
Realm of Ideas Collapses Momentarily, Conveys Particular Idea |
Alfred Humbleton |
| July 30, 2018 |
April 29th Special Broadcast |
Times Staff |
| July 29, 2018 |
Chimpanzee Joe: "This is Your Second Warning" |
Chimpanzee Joe |
| July 29, 2018 |
Shiftier Than Ever: The Baron Receives 3.2 Billion Dollars |
Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| July 29, 2018 |
In Wake of Cockfighting Bust, Roosters Euthanized |
Tom Johnson |
| July 28, 2018 |
We Ought To Learn From And Care For The Birds of Ravenwold |
Ron Gutterston |
| July 27, 2018 |
Demon Unveils Foundation Line |
Roberto Piccolo |
| July 25, 2018 |
The Fate of The Cockfighting Roosters |
Tom Johnson |
| July 24, 2018 |
Spanish Monks Time Travel To Amherst |
Roberto Piccolo |
| July 21, 2018 |
Escaped Roosters Wreak Havoc Downtown |
Tom Johnson |
| July 21, 2018 |
Cockfighter's Genetic Medium A Mystery |
Oswald Avery |
| July 21, 2018 |
Town Must Do Better |
Chris Bascomb |
| July 18, 2018 |
Who is Chimpanzee Joe, The Surreal Times news chimp? |
Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| July 11, 2018 |
Baron of Bullets: I Have The Ultimate Weapon |
Marcus Van Door |
| July 1, 2018 |
Terrible Assault on General Consciousness |
Tiggy Sintrupuli |
| July 1, 2018 |
These are some weird chickens... |
Mistress Tumbly |
| July 1, 2018 |
Fighting Creatures Are Not Terrestrial |
Alfred Humbleton |
| July 1, 2018 |
Cockfighting Bust in Northampton |
Tom Johnson |
| June 19, 2018 |
Union of the Clouds Zilches Borders |
Clarence Mon |
| June 18, 2018 |
The Mad Cartographer, We Should Hear Him Out |
Pablo Little |
| June 18, 2018 |
The Mad Cartographer Threatens our City |
George S. Halfly |
| June 6, 2018 |
Science Fair Invention Makes Relationships a Dream |
Tommy Potentuary |
| May 30, 2018 |
The Bihexical Search |
Armädeius Galouei's Surrogate |
| May 30, 2018 |
A Peek Into The Life Of Eddie Octo |
Marina Parella |
| May 30, 2018 |
From the mouth of the pig #12 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| May 30, 2018 |
The Octo Report: "Collision Festival" Takes Off |
Eddie Octo |
| May 30, 2018 |
Sandwich Store Snips Ribbon |
Tommy Potentuary |
| May 30, 2018 |
Internship Position Opens |
Management |
| May 30, 2018 |
Realm Of Ideas Narrows |
Alfred Humbleton |
| May 30, 2018 |
A Recording Of The Ranting Of The Hermenaut |
Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| May 30, 2018 |
Letter To The Fake Sun 2 |
The Editors |
| May 30, 2018 |
The Baron Of Bullets Spotted At Antonio’s |
Roberto Piccolo |
| May 30, 2018 |
Spiral Run Closing In On The Amherst Common |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| May 30, 2018 |
Outlaw Killed Or Not |
Megunticook Stevens |
| May 30, 2018 |
Dr. Linda Peterson Sentenced To Seven Years |
Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| May 30, 2018 |
Free Eye Contact Services |
Mistress Tumbly |
| May 30, 2018 |
Notorious Chief Of Agnatroptes Witnessed Serving Sun |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| May 30, 2018 |
Silence That Pretentious Octopus |
Chimpanzee Joe |
| May 30, 2018 |
We Can All Take A Hint From This Sandwich Anarchy |
Pablo Little |
| May 30, 2018 |
Cloud Anchor Proposed, P.I.A. Investigating |
Clarence Mon |
| May 30, 2018 |
Members Of The Atonal Music Listening Club Nowhere To Be Found |
Common Observer |
| May 30, 2018 |
Newspaper Spawns Subsidiary Adventure Capital Firm |
The Editors |
| May 30, 2018 |
Murderer To Be Executed |
Old Souls Anonymous |
| April 29, 2018 |
Letter to The Editors & All of Their Jumfruitful Friends |
Mistress Tumbly |
| April 21, 2018 |
Special Report: On Recent Developments in Hermitude |
The Editors |
| April 20, 2018 |
Craigslist Post Appears Offering Bicycle Day Deal |
Common Observer |
| April 19, 2018 |
From the mouth of the pig #11 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| April 19, 2018 |
Arkansas Howler Arrested After Altercation With Neighbors |
Roberto Piccolo |
| April 19, 2018 |
Government To Begin Investigation of The 'Shower Act' |
Cryptic Mark |
| April 19, 2018 |
Fountain Of Youth Located |
Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| April 19, 2018 |
Intelligent Computer Worm On The Loose |
Tom Johnson |
| April 19, 2018 |
Harsh Sanctions, No Charges To Follow Recent Miniature Automobile Collision |
Mad Christopher van Eyck, Sr |
| April 19, 2018 |
On The Bihexical Search |
Armädeius Galouei's Surrogate |
| April 19, 2018 |
Musical Fun All Around |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| April 19, 2018 |
An Update From Inside The Old Chapel Dome |
Reverend Garland Hobbes |
| April 19, 2018 |
Sightings Of Doppelgangers In The South |
Cro Raka |
| April 19, 2018 |
Hotline Hotline Goes Offline Indefinitely |
Tommy Potentuary |
| April 19, 2018 |
Dj Hawk Radio Passes Along |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| April 19, 2018 |
2nd Annual Acupuncture Social |
Loomis Taunch |
| April 19, 2018 |
Who Really Stole The Spear Of Destiny? |
Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| April 19, 2018 |
Elderly Man Carves Crop Circles For Charity |
Common Observer |
| April 19, 2018 |
A Note From The Police: Individuals Saturating Rotaries... |
Tom Johnson |
| April 19, 2018 |
Job Opening: Professional Wanderer |
Cro Raka |
| April 19, 2018 |
The Hermenaut Blasts Himself Into Orbit |
Roberto Piccolo |
| April 19, 2018 |
Vow: I Will Blast Myself Into Orbit To Deride The Hermenaut |
Chimpanzee Joe |
| April 19, 2018 |
Vow: I Will Drown Out The Chimp's Taunts With My Howl |
The Arkansas Howler |
| April 19, 2018 |
24th National Hermit Convention Ends In Disappointment |
Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| April 19, 2018 |
Dr. Evans Vows To Be Ultimate Hermit, Descends In Sea |
Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| April 19, 2018 |
Opinion: Is The Hermenaut Even Interested In Becoming The Ultimate Hermit? |
Roberto Piccolo |
| April 19, 2018 |
The New Hermit: Selena Sneebly |
Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| April 19, 2018 |
My Brush With Hermitude |
The Arkansas Howler |
| April 19, 2018 |
Writer Criticism |
Phantom Framer |
| April 19, 2018 |
New Column: Ask G.G. For Advice |
G.G. |
| April 13, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART THREE |
Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| March 28, 2018 |
Writing Competition Finished! Winners announced! |
Dr. Dan Nibbler |
| March 15, 2018 |
Television Show Pilot Flops |
Tommy Potentuary |
| March 15, 2018 |
Possibilities Involving Outlets |
Wes Sizemore |
| March 15, 2018 |
Spear of Destiny Stolen From Auction |
Roberto Piccolo |
| March 15, 2018 |
Malicious Koi Robs World of Nwidvee |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 15, 2018 |
Unusual Birth Occurs in Wake of Snowstorm |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 15, 2018 |
Problematic Advertisements Plague Amherst |
Common Observer |
| March 15, 2018 |
Strange Turn of Events Leads Writer to Symbioticism |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 15, 2018 |
Giant Injured in Stupor |
Tom Johnson |
| March 15, 2018 |
Letter to The Editor |
Joseph Altmann |
| March 15, 2018 |
Community Classifieds |
The Editors |
| March 15, 2018 |
Upcoming Event: Art Takes on Art |
Loomis Taunch |
| March 15, 2018 |
The Balloon: Part 2 |
Old Souls Anonymous |
| March 15, 2018 |
Tokens Retracted From Worldly Citizens, New Source Recommended |
Alfred Humbleton |
| March 11, 2018 |
The Arkansas Howler Returns |
Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| March 11, 2018 |
Young Adult Discovers Charm of Mother's Historic Technology |
Marina Parella |
| March 11, 2018 |
Piece of Surreal Engine Found Near Fault Line, Becomes Prize |
Dr. Dan Nibbler |
| March 11, 2018 |
Carnival Observed in The South |
Cro Raka |
| March 11, 2018 |
Head of Atonal Music Appreciation Club Silently Outed |
Common Observer |
| March 11, 2018 |
From the mouth of the pig #10 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| March 11, 2018 |
Hotline Hotline Prototype Released |
Tommy Potentuary |
| March 11, 2018 |
Bounty Placed on Fountain of Youth |
Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| March 3, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART TWO OF THREE |
Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| February 27, 2018 |
ANNOUNCEMENTS REGARDING THE WRITING COMPETITION AND THE PRIZE |
The Editors |
| February 25, 2018 |
Mail Truck Crash, Strong Impression on Witnesses |
Patty Geortenhul |
| February 25, 2018 |
Bihexical Search #9 |
Armädeius Galouei's Surrogate |
| February 25, 2018 |
Bihexical Search #8 |
Armädeius Galouei's Surrogate |
| February 25, 2018 |
The Story of Timothy The Round Uncovered |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 25, 2018 |
Burgowittz Resigns |
The Editors |
| February 25, 2018 |
An Inspiring and Virtuous Tale Unfolds Before Our Eyes |
Earnest |
| February 25, 2018 |
Notes on the Master Chef's Kitchen |
Zulu Z. Zulu |
| February 25, 2018 |
The Balloon: Humpty-Dumpty Retold, P1 |
Old Souls Anonymous |
| February 25, 2018 |
Hampshire County Jail & House of Corrections Re-Opens |
Common Observer |
| February 24, 2018 |
After the Extraplosion: Moe Lives to Tell The Tale |
Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| February 24, 2018 |
P.S.A. Regarding Meteor Impacts |
Jonothan Woodruff |
| February 24, 2018 |
A Depraved Scene Among Our Youth |
Chef Xenu Zorelli |
| February 20, 2018 |
Obituary: Ryan Patrick Johnson |
The Editors |
| February 20, 2018 |
Omicomicomicomc Comic |
Marina Parella |
| February 20, 2018 |
SURREALITY EXTINGUISHED WORLDWIDE: MYSTERIOUS “SKY-STAIRWAY” VANISHES |
Roberto Piccolo |
| February 20, 2018 |
New Gameshow, Pilot Episode Airs Tonight |
Tommy Potentuary |
| February 20, 2018 |
Juggling Machine Brings Infinite Storage to the Common Man |
Professor Burgowittz |
| February 20, 2018 |
Interesting Trend Spreads Across South America |
Cro Raka |
| February 20, 2018 |
Norwottuck Rail Trail to be Extended |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 20, 2018 |
From the mouth of the pig #9 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| February 20, 2018 |
The Rise Together Corporation Falls |
Roberto Piccolo |
| February 14, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART ONE OF THREE |
Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| February 8, 2018 |
Eyrie Eyrie House Hotel Is Recieving Guests Again |
Cro Raka |
| February 8, 2018 |
Events Unfold At The Vatican |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 8, 2018 |
Anonymous Tape Left At Journalist's Home |
The Editors |
| February 2, 2018 |
THE SURREAL TIMES SURREAL STORY COMPETITION BEGINS |
Dr. Dan Nibbler |
| January 28, 2018 |
Large One to Appear |
Marina Parella |
| January 22, 2018 |
Goose Gingertop Deployed |
Jang Ben |
| January 22, 2018 |
Faith Can Move Mountains |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| January 17, 2018 |
The State |
~? |
| January 17, 2018 |
Introducing the Portable Surreal Engine |
Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| January 17, 2018 |
A Love Supreme |
J.D. |
| January 17, 2018 |
Bihexical Comic b#8 |
Cro Raka |
| January 17, 2018 |
Accountant Wanted |
Jonathan Smith Johnson |
| January 17, 2018 |
PSA: Keep Animals Inside |
Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| January 17, 2018 |
Creativity Blossoms at The Fault |
Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| January 17, 2018 |
The Princess Presents: Rope Arms ^Goliath |
Common Observer |
| January 17, 2018 |
From the mouth of the pig #8 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| January 16, 2018 |
MONSTROSITY APPROACHING |
Clarence Mon |
| January 11, 2018 |
Dennis Horizontal Hands' Inaugural Column |
Dennis Horizontal Hands |
| December 31, 2017 |
Bihexical Search #7 |
Armädeius Galouei's Surrogate |
| December 31, 2017 |
Breaking News: Hordes Gather At San Andreas Fault Line |
The Editors |
| December 31, 2017 |
Bad Collision, Many Steeds Totalled |
Common Observer |
| December 31, 2017 |
Milkwalker Sightings |
Cro Raka |
| December 31, 2017 |
Reverberating Armadillo Comedy & Free Marmalade |
Alfred Humbleton |
| December 25, 2017 |
Ant Pursues Fountain of Youth |
Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| December 25, 2017 |
The Wait Is Over! Our Sources Confirm That Godot Will In Fact Arrive Tomorrow! |
Vladimir |
| December 25, 2017 |
The Fun Is Over Early This Year |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 25, 2017 |
The New Assault on Rationality |
Roberto Piccolo |
| December 23, 2017 |
Assymetry |
Wes Sizemore |
| December 23, 2017 |
Wisdom From Archeology Worm |
Professor Burgowittz |
| December 23, 2017 |
A PICKLE TO THE PREFRONTAL |
Wes Sizemore |
| December 23, 2017 |
Bihexical Comic b#7 |
Cro Raka |
| December 23, 2017 |
Response to that Lousy Chimp |
Doctor Goldstein |
| December 23, 2017 |
Leaning Tower Falling |
Earnest |
| December 23, 2017 |
A Call to Writers |
The Editors |
| December 16, 2017 |
From the mouth of the pig #7 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| December 16, 2017 |
Researchers Discover Cure For Excessive Sanity |
Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| December 16, 2017 |
A Trail of Ashes |
J.D. |
| December 16, 2017 |
The New Mexico Surreal Engine |
Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| December 15, 2017 |
The Surreal Web Died Today |
Priestess Charlene |
| December 12, 2017 |
Howler Howls His Last |
Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| December 4, 2017 |
A Peculiar Chase of Mutts and Bolts |
J.D. |
| December 4, 2017 |
Untastefully Yours Probably & The ARG |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| November 30, 2017 |
Off-campus Apartment Evicts Tenants |
Wes Sizemore |
| November 28, 2017 |
Has The Truth Behind The Surreal Engine Been Revealed? |
Anonymous |
| November 28, 2017 |
From the mouth of the pig #6 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| November 28, 2017 |
Bihexical Comic b#6 |
Cro Raka |
| November 28, 2017 |
What's So Great About Language Anyway? |
Chimpanzee Joe |
| November 28, 2017 |
Letter to The Editor |
A Concerned Mother |
| November 28, 2017 |
Amherst Annual Orchestra To Perform This Year's Stunt |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| November 23, 2017 |
William Blanket Found Guilty of Existential Malpractice |
J.D. |
| November 20, 2017 |
Local Boys Learns Not To Lie |
Cro Raka |
| November 16, 2017 |
At The Foot of The Altar |
Doctor Goldstein |
| November 15, 2017 |
Symptoms of the New Avian Flu |
Colette |
| November 14, 2017 |
Catching Up With The Arkansas Howler |
Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| November 14, 2017 |
From the mouth of the pig #5 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| November 14, 2017 |
From the mouth of the pig #5 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| November 11, 2017 |
University Holds Degree Buyback Program |
Wes Sizemore |
| November 11, 2017 |
Bihexical Search #5 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| November 11, 2017 |
Music Review: PC Music, vol 1 By Various Artists |
Paul Kleiner |
| November 11, 2017 |
A Cawl For Many "Certain Ways" |
Alfred Humbleton |
| November 11, 2017 |
The Lost Story of Mr. Johnson |
Praa Para |
| November 9, 2017 |
Strange Contraption Brings Mindfulness |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| November 9, 2017 |
Prose Poem From Recent Festival |
The Editors |
| November 2, 2017 |
Local Boy Falls Into iPhone, Loses Thumb |
J.D. |
| November 2, 2017 |
Bihexical Comic |
Cro Raka |
| October 31, 2017 |
Woman Receives Information From Afar |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 27, 2017 |
My Search For Enlightenment in these Forsaken Times |
Reverend Garland Hobbes |
| October 26, 2017 |
Stolen Gurgleer |
Clarence Mon |
| October 24, 2017 |
Letter to the Fake Sun |
S. Smalls |
| October 24, 2017 |
Love Letter to My Future Wife |
Armädeius Galouei |
| October 19, 2017 |
Mathematicians Speak Out |
Suthagorous |
| October 18, 2017 |
Interested in Buying a Soul? |
Cro Raka |
| October 17, 2017 |
Young People Try To Start Careers |
Cryptic Mark |
| October 15, 2017 |
UMass Football Goes Gorillas |
Wes Sizemore |
| October 15, 2017 |
From the mouth of the pig #2 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| October 15, 2017 |
Bihexical search #4 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| October 5, 2017 |
From the mouth of the pig #4 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| October 3, 2017 |
Call For Writers |
The Editors |
| October 3, 2017 |
Let's Talk About This Whole Human Thing |
Chimpanzee Joe |
| September 27, 2017 |
Coalition of Fantastic Fellows |
Anonymous |
| September 26, 2017 |
The Times, Hiring an Assistant Weatherman |
The Editors |
| September 25, 2017 |
Squanderers of the Molecule of Life! |
Professor Burgowittz |
| September 25, 2017 |
The Schizo Report |
The Voices |
| September 23, 2017 |
More News on the Infamous Criminal Mad Harry |
Cro Raka |
| September 22, 2017 |
Couple Does a Marriage |
Cryptic Mark |
| September 13, 2017 |
Surreal Newsroom on 9/14/2017 |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| September 7, 2017 |
Earthwater Entities Mount Escape to Calm |
Alfred Humbleton |
| September 6, 2017 |
Come to the Inaugural Surreal Newsroom |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| September 4, 2017 |
Sermon #4 - Our Great Final Neglect |
Reverend Garland Hobbes |
| August 10, 2017 |
Hungry Parakeet Scandal |
Common Observer |
| August 4, 2017 |
The Eclipse and A Call To Action |
Reverend Garland Hobbes |
| August 4, 2017 |
Call to action for the second coming |
Reverend Garland Hobbes |
| July 27, 2017 |
U.S. Scientists Edit Embryo DNA |
Professor Burgowittz |
| July 11, 2017 |
Routine interaction in NYC |
Jessem Ichel |
| July 5, 2017 |
Dragonflies, Mind Control, Polar Bears & Oil |
Clarence Mon |
| June 19, 2017 |
Splinter |
Zulu Z. Zulu |
| June 14, 2017 |
Considerations Related to the Colonization of Irregular Solar Systems |
Clarence Mon |
| June 1, 2017 |
Disc Jam Descending on Stephenstown NY |
Doctor Goldstein |
| May 19, 2017 |
A Quick Rewind |
Zulu Z. Zulu |
| May 7, 2017 |
Bihexical Search #3 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| May 7, 2017 |
Community Classifieds |
The Editors |
| May 3, 2017 |
OBITUARY: TRUTH HAS DEPARTED THIS LIFE |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| April 26, 2017 |
A Visit From The Bird |
Cro Raka |
| April 26, 2017 |
Mysterious Ring Stumbled Upon |
Cro Raka |
| April 25, 2017 |
LOW-TEMP VOLCANO ERUPTS |
Earnest |
| April 25, 2017 |
Invasive Protectist Legislation |
Earnest |
| April 25, 2017 |
The Times, Hiring! |
The Editors |
| April 10, 2017 |
Large Idea Rotisserie Halts, The Unlegged Rise, The Sun Continues to Shine |
Alfred Humbleton |
| April 3, 2017 |
Acupuncture Social to be hosted at the Fine Arts Center! |
Loomis Taunch |
| April 3, 2017 |
Acupuncture Social at the FAC! |
Loomis Taunch |
| April 1, 2017 |
Anarchy Among Our Youth! |
Clarence Mon |
| March 31, 2017 |
Protest by the Tree Folk |
Moriarty Collins |
| March 31, 2017 |
Letter to Charles Darwin the 11th |
Hank T. Joseph |
| March 21, 2017 |
The Zebra Convention Unfolds |
Armadeius Galouei |
| March 17, 2017 |
Montreal Endures Viscous Inhabitant |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 8, 2017 |
Three Generalizations |
Chuulepher "Future Mann" Erp-mangus IV |
| March 6, 2017 |
A closer look at Headly, an employee at franklin dining commons |
Ron Gutterston |
| March 6, 2017 |
Police Kidnapping Maybe Solved |
Richard Jenkins |
| March 5, 2017 |
In These Times |
R. Bottleby |
| March 3, 2017 |
Local Investigation That May Be of Interest to The Concerned Citizen |
Cro Raka |
| March 2, 2017 |
ZZZ PUTS WORDS TO SPENGLETON'S CURVES |
Zulu Z. Zulu |
| March 2, 2017 |
Tsunami Hits Western Mass |
Professor Burgowittz |
| March 1, 2017 |
Ice jam aborted |
Alfred Humbleton |
| February 27, 2017 |
Zulu Z. Zulu's travels: NYC Bussed Tour |
Zulu Z. Zulu |
| February 24, 2017 |
Dr. John and Charles Neville to bring New Orleans to Northampton |
Doctor Goldstein |
| February 2, 2017 |
The Man in the Nest |
Doctor Goldstein |
| February 2, 2017 |
A look at the creature of North Amherst |
Ron Gutterston |
| February 2, 2017 |
UMass seeks energy crown |
Clarence Mon |
| February 2, 2017 |
BURGOWITTZ FOOLISH, UNWISE |
Jameson Eldar |
| February 2, 2017 |
The Battle of the Beaks |
Cadence P. Crockpot |
| February 2, 2017 |
SPENGLETON RELEASES NEW BOOK |
Mumphurd Tongs |
| February 2, 2017 |
NEW ART GALLERY OPENING |
The Editors |
| February 2, 2017 |
... Write for The Times! |
The Editors |
| February 2, 2017 |
Running in circles? |
Alfred Humbleton |
| February 2, 2017 |
ROGUE WOMAN ON CAMPUS |
Tom Johnson |
| February 2, 2017 |
An Alarming Attack of Alliteration |
Zulu Z. Zulu |
| February 2, 2017 |
WINNERS ANNOUNCED |
The Editors |
| February 2, 2017 |
Board of selectmen vote down dinosaur proposal |
Professor Burgowittz |
| February 2, 2017 |
Experiments that you Should Probably Know About |
Chuulepher "Future Mann" Erp-mangus IV |
| February 2, 2017 |
A Clarification |
Armädeius Galouei |
| February 2, 2017 |
A peculiar occurrence |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 2, 2017 |
New Bihexical Search! (#2) |
Armädeius Galouei |
| February 2, 2017 |
Bihexical Search #1 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| February 2, 2017 |
A Negative Event |
Chett Vildermesh |
| February 2, 2017 |
Hooligans steal truck |
Anonymous |
| February 1, 2017 |
From the mouth of the pig #1 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| February 1, 2017 |
Political Update: Jeb Bush cruises to victory. |
Josh Matteo |
| February 1, 2017 |
NERB SPEAKS |
Common Observer |
| February 1, 2017 |
A Most Bizarre Questionnaire |
Zulu Z. Zulu |
| February 1, 2017 |
RADICALS GO VIOLENT |
Undercarriage Roth |
| February 1, 2017 |
A peculiar occurence |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 1, 2017 |
Ride The Wave of Humble Digs |
Doctor Goldstein |
| February 1, 2017 |
Kind soul does what he can |
Reverend Garland Hobbes |
| February 1, 2017 |
OPEN QUESTIONS REGARDING THE DYNAMICS OF BALLOONS |
Professor Burgowittz |
| February 1, 2017 |
The Man made of Black |
Doctor Goldstein |
| February 1, 2017 |
AN UPDATE ON SOUTH WORCESTER |
Clarence Mon |
| February 1, 2017 |
This We Cannot Allow |
Dr. Evans |
| February 1, 2017 |
Slam your head against the wall |
William Howard |
| February 1, 2017 |
Letter to the editor |
Emanuel Gumft |
| February 1, 2017 |
Botany can really Ruffle Feathers |
Armädeius Galouei |
| February 1, 2017 |
Write-in Poem: Josh's Butt |
Purple Buffalo |
| February 1, 2017 |
From the mouth of the pig #0 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| February 1, 2017 |
Baby Squeezers Spotted, Walking Calmly, Sometimes Grimacing |
Zulu Z. Zulu |
| February 1, 2017 |
Letter of the editor |
Reverend Garland Hobbes |
| January 31, 2017 |
An Explanation |
Doctor Goldstein |
| January 31, 2017 |
A peculiar occurence |
Dernberger Spengleton |
| January 31, 2017 |
IMPORTANT ARCHEOLOGICAL DISCOVERY |
Professor Burgowittz |
| January 31, 2017 |
Mayhem Consumes Local Backyard |
Zulu Z. Zulu |
| January 31, 2017 |
Wanna write? |
The Editors |
| January 31, 2017 |
DOG SEEN CLIMBING TREE |
Dernberger Spengleton and Purple Buffalo |
| January 31, 2017 |
That Looks Like This |
Common Observer |
| January 31, 2017 |
This grass is too damn prickly. |
Alfred Humbleton |
| January 31, 2017 |
ADVERTISEMENT FOR THE RECRUITMENT OF NEW WRITERS |
The Editors |
| January 31, 2017 |
The Man in the Crows Nest |
Ralphie Warbler |
| January 31, 2017 |
MAN SQUASHED BY METEORITE |
The Editors |
| January 31, 2017 |
Trump still a prick |
Anonymous |
| January 31, 2017 |
Hillary still a robot |
Anonymous |
| January 31, 2017 |
Bihexical Search #0 |
Armädeius Galouei |
| January 31, 2017 |
Letter to the editor |
Chett Vildermesh |
| January 31, 2017 |
Letter to the editor |
Chett Vildermesh |