There Are No Bigfeet In Amherst, Stop This Delusion

Letter To The Editor

George S. Halfly,
Times Correspondent

I write concerning a disturbing phenomena which should alarm any right-minded citizen. I speak, of course, of the rising tide of delusional bigfoot enthusiasts. Perhaps you’ve seen them searching the woods behind UMass with magnifying glasses, hoping to find traces of bigfoot fur. They now spread the dysfunction to the youth. Just two days ago I saw a young boy, no older than eight, wearing an “I Believe” shirt with a bigfoot on it! This dangerous bigfoot preoccupation is just another sign of the downfall of Amherst, a downfall which can only be prevented by a return to civic-mindedness. So I implore you: let bigfoot return to myth, and occupy yourselves with building our city.

Sincerely, George S. Halfly

For more articles by George S. Halfly, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email halfly.george@surrealtimes.net.

POST A COMMENT

See Also

Want to read more news? Click here for a random article.