Bigfeet Are Legal And A "Bigfoot Crusade" Is Out Of The Question

Maria Gonzales,
Police Chief

As the local Police Chief, it is my responsibility to clear up misconceptions regarding the legality of big feet, if they do exist.

First, no specific law prohibits bigfeet, as we have never seen one (if they exist). As such, I cannot arrest a bigfoot for being a bigfoot (if they exist). Similarly, I cannot launch a “bigfoot hunt,” or, as some have taken to calling it, a “bigfoot crusade.”

But, there is also no legislation preventing the peaceful search for bigfeet, and as such I can take no action to stop anyone seeking them out.

I would advise concerned Amherst residents to remember that just as we have never definitely seen a bigfoot, we have never seen a bigfoot attack either. The current fracas will surely settle down.

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