Account: The Mad Shark of The Monarchy
They call me the mad shark of the monarchy. People walk in and they see my fin and my bottle, and then they think, “Jeez, this guy is menacing as fuck… What’s he so angry about? It’s just autocratic governance.”
Trust me, I’ve got sharp teeth and a drinking problem. If you try to take my child after I waited half an hour for my custody hearing, you’ll be “dancing with the yuppies” as the kids say, most likely also inside my belly, marinating in alcohol and the aluminum cans I ate to prove my manhood.
P.S. My dick is like a tallboy: unhealthy, and obsessive over-indulgence in it is the only way I can cope with my severe self-contempt.
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To get in touch with this writer, email
madshark@surrealtimes.net.
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