An Update From Inside The Old Chapel Dome

Hello, my followers! Hello, those who remain by my side. Hello to those who walk with me away from the cold tundra of the Catholic Church. Hello, to those who join me in my exploration of the luscious humble greens of The Earth, and all the God that permeates them.

In my latest sermon, I shared to you all a personal story. It was a story of self re-discovery.

In my nightstand lamp, I noticed, my light bulb contained a portion of our very solar source: the sun! I hoped that, by harnessing its immense power, I could escape the dome surrounding my chapel.

My plan was to throw the dense object from my bedroom window, and perhaps make a small crack the dome. The idea was, that I could then chip at the crack with my iron cross and eventually escape.

But when I tried lifting the sun-infused lamp to examine it more closely, its enormous weight collapsed the floorboards beneath my feet. I crashed through many layers of antique wood, and soon found myself in an oasis hidden below. This was an oasis of hydrofarming! Of the most uniquely human unearthing of God's most precious magical creations!

Ever since, I have been working diligently (and most fulfillingly!) alongside Dana Lucas and Evan Chakrin at the UMass Hydrofarm, Old Chapel Chapter. We are as holy as can be here, embracing the earthly divine.

This has been fresh air. Finally, I am free of the infatuation of flaky speculations regarding the divine, promulgated by the church. I live here together with real farmers! Cultivators of God's seeds! And, the dome which I was so tormented by initially, is now my friend. Why? Because it enables myself and my fellow Good Growers to grow! It keeps us in, and the distractors out, allowing us to do our work.

For more articles by Reverend Garland Hobbes, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email


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