Tired of walking into a test, brain fried from lack of sleep, no time to get a coffee in hand, and feeling that sinking sensation of inevitable failure? Got a 10k run with the in-laws coming up that you’d rather just sleep past? Why not try some Disassociex©?

Ipsum Pharmaceutical’s newest product, Disassociex© rearranges the complex weavings of your soul, altering your desires, memories and instincts until you’re no longer you, then sets it loose! And when the unpleasant event is over, this “other you” will simply fade away within an hour, allowing the real you to reclaim your body!* Leave the stress and panicking for someone else!

And that’s not all! If you want to dodge the aftermath as well, we’re selling our product at low, low prices if you take our package deals! Why just skip a test when you can skip the shame of getting the test back, your parents yelling at you, a dark mark on your grades, or any other consequences you might face? Our package deals cover any length of time you might need, from 3 days to an entire lifetime supply of Disassociex©!

Disassociex© is made with an all-natural blend of herbs, spices, and just a hint of para-dimensional strider spinal fluid. Naturally gluten-free and contains no common allergens! Probably safe for the young and elderly, but NOT safe for pregnant women under any circumstances. No FDA-approved claims.

Disassociex©. Don’t let yourself suffer.

*In most cases. A study (n=yes) showed that a small (26%) percentage of patients may experience unpleasant side effects, such as sore throat, nausea, being trapped as a backseat driver inside the head of a completely unrecognizable person that now pilots your former body, or rashes.

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