In my mind's eye, before you told everyone about his doorknob, God was strolling, careless. He had drank an ocean of beer and eaten a forest of corndogs. And now, discovering the endless, mindless, sexless wasteland of the world he created, he pondered what could possibly be done to remedy this situation. He decided that the only solution was "More Water". He was terribly drunk and thirsty. Unfortunately the oceans were salty and unhelpful. Thankfully he had the genius idea of sitting on the north poll, using the warmth of his ass to melt the ice cap into fresh water, which suited his needs perfectly. Unfortunately for some humans, the added water to the ocean raised the sea levels significantly and flooded a number of cities. God didn't mind too much and returned to the clouds to sleep. "God," God said, "I hope I'm not hungover tomorrow. Much to do much to do."

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