After a fierce exchange with Amherst PD, the Arkansas Howler, apparently discontent with his move to our area, has given up howling entirely. Trouble began the morning of Wednesday, November the 8th at the Howler’s house.

While the Howler usually howls (attempting to break the world record for loudest scream) in a special soundproof room, on Wednesday he began to circulate his house, windows open, stripped from the waist up, howling. His howling, which could be heard blocks away, was described as “sorrowful,” by a neighbor who declined to go by name on the record.

It was when the police arrived at noon, responding to a noise complaint, that things turned ugly. The howler, his voice hoarse, berated the police with what little speaking ability he had left. Subjects of his tirade included the competition (namely the Saskatchewan Screamer), his isolation from his family and ex-wife, and, in his words, “the world not ******ing understanding why I have to do this.”

The Howler agreed to undergo mental assessment at an undisclosed location. The Surreal Times managed to briefly interview him over the phone as he undergoes treatment. The Howler is doing well, and has befriended his roommate, a young man with schizoaffective disorder who, the howler tells us, spent his first night doing improvised calisthenics in the corner of the room, eluding the staff. The Howler himself appears to be in good spirits, and the only victim of this episode is himself. The Surreal Times wishes him a speedy recovery.

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