Paid for by Contranym

Our company (Contranym) is in search of pilots to control a classified vehicle. Due to clearance-related limitations, pilots are preferred to have a weight of under 85 pounds and a height of under three feet. Due to classified aspects of the vehicle's performance, significant experience in roller coaster riding is required.

Additionally, due to the unique (and classified) nature of the vehicle, applicants are preferred to have little or no experience piloting other vehicles.

The final requirement is that applicants not be fluent in the English language, due to classified restrictions in the vehicle's operating software.

Interested applicants should note that although these are "preferences", we receive an unimaginably huge amount of applications every day. As such, it is unlikely that applicants without significant relevance could be hired.

Applications go to contranymco@gmail.com. (Individuals with no experience sending email are preferred.)

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