Micro-economists Combine Energy to Form Single Macro-economist
A strange incident has been reported in the Isenberg Business School to have occurred as a result of an offhand remark directed towards microeconomists during a local archaeological dig, implying microeconomists were not real STEM majors. While many involved students are reluctant to divulge information, this reporter managed to get a close view of the incident, as no one pays attention to him anyway.
It is 1 in the afternoon. Microeconomics majors gather in front of the business school. The sky turns a shade of bright pink and wind begins to blow upwards with no discernible origin. Other witnesses to the scene also describe a noise similar to an electric guitar and accompanying drum beat, what one witness, first year physics student Johnston Joyner, said was “like someone’s ass was about to get seriously kicked.” A blinding light emanates from the center of the huddle, and the microeconomics majors vanish.
The light dissipated, revealing a buff, naked amorphous humanoid figure with fluorescent green-tinged skin. The entity claimed it was now “designated” as “Over-Izen-B 1000%, The Macroeconomist Supreme”, and crossed its arms. An unidentified witness was heard to exclaim “What? Impossible!”
“This is unforgivable! I, Over-Izen 1000%, The Macroeconomist Supreme, will go beyond my ‘limits’ to surpass even you!” it bellows, and all 6 witnesses gasp consecutively, seemingly without coordination.
“Over-Izen-B 1000%, The Macroeconomist Supreme” proceeded to hover over to Orchard Hill, and, using what appeared to be a high-powered laser from its palms, singed the phrases “ECON EMPLOYS RIGOROUS MATHS” and “APPLICATION (sic) > THEORY” into the grass, while screaming angrily. It then flew directly towards the moon until it disappeared from sight with a twinkle in the sky.
After the entity disappeared, confused microeconomics majors appeared back in their beds, claiming to have experienced a strange dream involving “becoming the strongest economist”. Afterwards, many of them could be witnessed outside their dorms doing push-ups and punching brick walls while quickly scanning their textbooks. This reporter reached out to the archeology department for comments, but the department was too busy investigating their local dig site, which had somehow expanded a couple of centimeters without human intervention.
This reporter tries to remain as unbiased as possible in his reporting, so all he can say is that this is the closest he could gather to a true account of these events. And as a Sustainable Food and Farming major, this reporter personally has no skin in the STEM game anyway. This is the Purple Hermit, signing off.
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