People Advised to Castrate Their Flowers

THIS IS A PSA YOU FILTHY FUCKING DIRT BEDAZZLERS. THE EARTH IS NOT A TEENAGE GIRL’S BACKPACK. IT DOES NOT NEED SPARKLES. IT DOES NOT NEED TO BE SHINY BECAUSE IT DOES NOT NEED TO ATTRACT BIRDS! IT ALREADY HAS BIRDS. WHY? BECAUSE BIRDS LIVE ON THE FUCKING EARTH, AND THEY HAVE NO OTHER PLACE TO GO BESIDES THE EARTH. GET YOUR FUCKING PERENNIALS AND ANNUALS AND THIS AND THAT. PUT THEM IN A FUCKING BAG AND RUN THEM OVER WITH YOUR HUMMER V3. CHOP THE STEMS AND BURN THE PETALS. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE TULIP WARS? SNIP SNIP, BUTTERCUP, OFF YOU GO. BESIDES THE FRUITS AND VEGGIES, YOUR GARDENS SHOULD BE GREEN.

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