Perspective: Aquarius Is A Bitch

Aquarius is a fucking bitch, a puny little twerp represented by my mom’s divorce lawyer. He bears a large bucket of water. It was oddly appropriate, as I was being chased by a man bearing a large bucket of water himself. I didn’t know him, and I don’t think he knew me, but he clearly had a burning desire to dump all the secrets of his witch water all over my young ears. Then I looked in the mirror and saw the man with the bucket. I was the bastard, bucket in my hand. I turn from the mirror. Someone I’ve never met looks at me fearfully and begins running away. I know what I have to do. In a drunken haze, I’d pushed my kid away, and I didn’t even know him, only what he was to me…better than I could’ve ever been. In my train of thought, I had relaxed my hands. The bucket struck the ground beside my foot and splashed witch water all over my leg. I watched my skin turn charcoal colored and the darkness spread up my leg, over my torso, and on. I could feel the rot on my insides as well. When it hit my skull, I twitched. My eyes opened and I saw the judge preparing to spank his hammer upon the table, ruling a melancholy couple legally separate. I raised my hand and said, “I object! YOUR HAMMER IS MY HAMMER.” I ran to the judge and tried ripping the hammer from his hands. Security came at me and the not-yet-divorced couple together consoled me, calmed me, and said it would be ok.

For more articles by Anonymous Offspring, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email aoi33@surrealtimes.net.


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