Response to that Lousy Chimp

Doctor Goldstein,
Times Staff

Okay Joe, let's talk about this whole ‘human thing.’ I think that it has been made clear, even through your own arguments, who the dominant species is in this animal kingdom we call earth, and I can see your rage bubbling through millions of years of inferior evolution. Yeah, sure, we were both once kin of the same primordial mother, but unlike you we left the cradle and the teet, setting out to experience the world and all it could bring us. And have we not found it? My air conditioned office feels even better when I think of the humid jungle you wrote this ludicrous letter from.

So why don’t you put the pen down, Joe, and go back to doing what you do best: eating bugs and flinging shit. I’ll let you know when we need your help ripping the face off a little girl. As for me, I think I’ll open my up my freezer and cook up one of your Bovine brothers, rare.

For more articles by Doctor Goldstein, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email drg@surrealtimes.net.


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