SGA Elections Delayed By Collective Burp

[[Artist's depiction of these events by Imogene Larkley]]

Hello, students, citizens, and everyone. We still hear the echoes of last week’s inconvenient but necessary, township-wide belch. It relieved stress during a time when politics ran hot at UMass, during the days leading up to SGA elections. By now, the stench has faded but for a few absorbent garage sale couches in college kids’ apartments.

It was so powerful and long-lasting that one student, Sasha Whimsers, remarked, “The rumble reminded me of the hypotenuse of a very obtuse triangle.” I personally appreciate her insight and think it adds a valuable perspective on the matter.

SGA reported basically that the burp is more serious than an innocuous thunderstorm you might watch from your porch with your dad. It, unfortunately, occurred during the SGA presidential election verification period — more specifically, when SGA senators were considering complaints filed against the candidates. It caused real problems.

The resulting gust of air swooped into the Student Union and blew the complaint paperwork out the door before senators could finish their review. The paperwork was lost. “For this reason,” SGA says, “it would be unjust to go forward with the election until students are given a chance to re-file their complaints. ”

An SGA senator explained, “The candidates mounted particularly effective campaigns this year. We wonder if they might have been too effective, though, because many have been accused of misdoing. The Margolis ticket, for instance, was accused of using student organization funding to aid their campaign. The Sullivan ticket was accused of using University social media accounts to promote themselves. The McCandless team received complaints as well. We will need to investigate these cases before moving forward with the election. And, if we cannot finish the process in 30 days, Chapter 20 Section 3 calls for a special election.”

I’m not so sure about those involved with this year’s SGA presidential election. I’ll wait on the SGA investigation results. But I will say I am thankful to know that we have some good people in the SGA senate. As someone who is personally not a fan of corruption, I appreciate the extra effort the SGA senate is putting into making this election fair.

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