Time Travel Has Been invented! Except not in this century. Today two Spanish monks spontaneously appeared in food court of Hampshire mall after time traveling straight from the year 1332. Unwilling to give their names, they brandished crucifixes to passing students, occasionally shouting in archaic Spanish. Eventually contact was established through a grad student studying the history of the Spanish language. A transcript of their conversation:

Monk A: The black plague. Is that wiped out?

Grad Student: Okay, that is gone. But there are new plagues now.

Monk B: Jesus Christ? He has certainly returned?

Grad Student: Not quite.

Monk A: Surely war is eradicated.

Grad Student: In progress.

Monk B: And everybody is now a Christian?

Grad Student: Well…

Monk A: Tell me at least, then, that everybody is well-fed and healthy?

Grad Student: Kind of.

Monk B: You see? I told you we should have come to 2,999. 1,999 is terrible!

Grad Student: 1,999?

Monk B: Yes, this is 1,999, isn’t it? The new millenium is approaching?

Grad Student: Unfortunately it is 2018.

Monk A: You fool! I told you we should have turned down the accelerator!

Monk B: You are the fool! The accelerator was already too low!

[At this, the monks began to shout to each other]

[Transcript ends]

The Surreal Times wish these monks the best, and will try to tease out the details of their time machine. Experts suggest they may have used a modified version of Surreal Warping.

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