[This article was originally published in print during November 2016. We are posting it online now after realizing that it was not uploaded to the website back then.]

Despite taking quite the tumble a few days ago, The Gord is doing well. It is fully intact. The consensus is that it is healthy and rather sharp in its old age.

These days, The Gord has settled down from the nomadic life it lived during its younger years. No longer does it spend days upon days traveling sleeplessly, spreading its wisdom to the masses. Today, The Gord sits atop its throne patiently, waiting for his subjects to come to him.

People from far and wide take pilgrimages to sleep beside The Gord as it sleeps. They hope The Gord's wisdom will permeate their skull. And it does: I swear to you. Try it for yourself. Absorb The Gord's wisdom as I have for so many years. Take your first steps down the way of The Gord. Do not be distracted by superficial aspects of our world pulling at your heart and eye strings along your path. Keep your gaze straight. Do not push. Do not be pushed.

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