Stuck in a bug
I can’t seem to find my way out of this bug. Last night I was having a hard time figuring out why the mysterious digitized photographs were out of order. Suddenly the lightning flashed and I was transported into a photo. Specifically, I was in the photo with the black cat perched on top of the bookshelf. But there were a few differences. For one the bookshelves were a lighter shade of brown than they previously were. But more noticeably, the version of the black cat in the still photograph was bright green and frothing at the mouth. It was completely still, but I could tell it sensed my fear of rabies. And my fear was indeed warranted. How could a fear of rabies possibly not be warranted? It’s a horrible disease. I love that I was transported into a photography though. I was thinking about photography just earlier today, and how interesting it is to try to capture a little bit of reality, that one can access one’s fantasy to access reality with. It was scary and peaceful being still, as photographs are, unlike the scary excitement being in a film would be. Both scary terrors, both mediums conveying or purporting to convey reality. One is used to being a viewer of a photograph, a viewer of a film. One can be photographed or filmed and later see oneself as a subject of the camera. But to actually be part of the thing itself, in its completed form one usually consumes-what an odd inversion of subject and object. As if joining some digital singularity, itself just a modern fantasy of mystical union. But not so big and grandiose as all that. Perhaps my favorite part was the whimsy. I never knew having a sense of access to reality, even mediated reality, would have such a fanciful sense of fun about it.
And now I wonder, was it solely the lighting that brought me here? That transcended dimension and is allowing me to see time and the world from this uniquely slow plane of existence? Now I ponder the extent of electrical power. Could electricity transport us to different times, different planets, different universes? Could it allow us to take the shape of another if it can allow us to occupy different spaces? Good golly, as soon as I find my way out of this bug I’m dropping everything, and employing the entirety of my being to research such things as stardust and time bending and electrical currents. Clearly there is so much we have yet to discover and too many of our meager little minds are too soon lost to corruption and distraction.
Distraction, I had too much of that, I'm drunk of it I think, or too drunk I know I'm drunk. I think I was trying to get out of here, to be lost inside an insect isnt a life. I dropped a photograph I just noticed I was holding, I feel it flex around me as it falls marionetted by the air, yet I also see it falling from above it. It falls slowly, at least I think so, there's no sun inside this bug, so I don't know what time is doing. But as it falls I feel myself become subjunctive. It is freer here in the land of the bug. I am no longer in any photographs, I no longer am, or was. Simply floating in and out of what I can be. Falling through the pages of an album of strange up close pictures, in and out of each snapshot I dazzle, encompassed. The album's pages flipped slowly, I think unintentionally, by the claws of a near-black cat simply using it as a scratching mat.
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