As seen in Surreal Times Boston ---

they say the best music can barely even be heard, and truer words have never been spoken. for too long has the most sublime, most powerful, and most holy form of music gone underappreciated.

gregorian whispering is communing with a higher god and a higher aesthetic. It is similar to gregorian chanting, but performed at a much lower volume - one might even say a whisper.

lowering the volume is tantamount to godliness. it is only when things are quiet that we can appreciate them as they are. it is only when you can hear breathing and the shifting of your body that god can enter your mind, and it is only by the maintenance of your quiet that god can remain.

as such, the first priority of any music, nay, any communication, is to keep the volume low. gregorian whispering accomplishes this nicely.

gregorian whispering began in the 9th century in eastern europe as a response to gregorian chanting. while chanting had the right idea musically, in volume terms it was off the mark. gregorian whispering is repetitive, it is mindful, it is transcendental, it is mystic, and most importantly, it is quiet.

unfortunately, after the 9th century, gregorian whispering died out. while critics may point out that in fact only one song was ever whispered, and it was in fact an inside joke between three overweight monks, i maintain that gregorian whispering was hugely influential in what is now a small town in the northeast of croatia. critics will claim that in fact gregorian whispering was never a widespread genre and that it never even left a specific monastery, and that this monastery was later shut down after an incident involving ergot, goat cheese and the local blacksmith. these people are wrong. yes, the spread of gregorian whispering was - ahem - limited. yes, it was limited to one performance. yes, the monastery which created was unfortunately shut down. but none of this should stop you from enjoying the absolute apex of human musical achievement - at a suitably low volume.

i have begun to assemble a band of gregorian whisperers. we will not rock the house. we will not make the walls shake. we will not blow off the roof. we will whisper with pride. i hope one day to play at that wretched hive of noise, the snake’s nest club, which has long tormented me, their upstairs neighbor, with the most unholy of decibels.

if you are interested in joining my gregorian whispering band, please contact surreal times boston at surrealtimesboston@gmail.com

silently yours,

quiet mortimer

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