The Octo Report: "Collision Festival" Takes Off
This miniature octopus rolled his survival-sphere to the recent Collision Festival on the Amherst Common.
I say, my chums, what delightful folly! To see two chaps face off with nothing but a line of dirt between them, then mutually stampede and collide with such zest - it fully gruntles me, I’m not afraid to say. Alas, such joy can prove saccharine, and it wasn’t long before one of the contestants - or should I say colliders - was off to the hospital in one of those garish, cacophonous, borish ambulances. There was a time when ambulances had class! Alas again, the collisions could not go on for very long due a scarcity of lads with the gumption to collide. But as the dare-deviling subsided, my octopus eyes landed on a commendable individual: The Arkansas Howler! For the uninitiated, the Howler pursues the world record of loudest human utterance. The Howler spoke thusly, “I used to collide, but I worried my neck would get hurt, so I mostly come now for the atmosphere.” Alas again again, I had to make my exit from the festival. Nonetheless, it was a spirited and climatic event!
Search “Howler”, on surrealtimes.net for more on the Arkansas Howler.
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