The Surreal Web Died Today
Its life was short lived. In 1990, Al Gore immaculately conceived and birthed the Surreal Web, stunning the reality-centered minds of this corporatist nation. From its very first MySpace post to its last meme, the Surreal Web lived a full and nonsensical life. A life that the living would envy. For propriety’s sake, the Surreal Web’s last rites were given by the Geek Squad of Greater Seattle earlier this evening.
The Surreal Web has left behind a family of four: a wife, a dog, and two children. Their loss is on a scale not comprehensible by the means of rationale or reason. The man responsible for the death of the Surreal Web is Ajit Pai. Mr. Pai, Chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, who pulled the plug on net neutrality and thus the Surreal Web.
Hell hath no fury like a consumer scorned. The FCC has killed freedom in the name of freedom. Mr. Pai and his cohort are responsible for the death of the world wide web as we know it. The Surreal Web is looking down on us and crying. Its tears shall drown us in a flood that not even Noah could have imagined.
The wake will be located at the nearest defunct Circuit City outside of Miami Beach, Florida at 9 am on December 15th.
So long and goodbye my friend!
R.I.P. SURREAL WEB 1990-2017
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