Top 10 Facts About Alligators

When you lived a life like mine, or read about one like it in a highlights magazine, you'd realize you know a couple things. Things that I want to share before the guard comes and the state executes me for capital murder. So consider this the fullest portrait of me, consider this what I leave to the world.

1. Alligators are animals, not plants like dandelions or spinach or mint or stick bugs.

2. Alligators are what is called tetrapods meaning they have four feet.

3. Alligators have four stomachs, my guess is that's to help digest all the food they eat.

4. Alligators make one of the most recognizable noises in nature, even most children can recognize their bellow.

5. The spots alligators have are not to blend to its environment but actually meant to help them stand out. They're very vain.

6. Contrary to popular believe, alligators actually eat about four to eight pounds of grass a day.

7. The milk alligators produce, while originally meant to feed their young, are now drunk by millions across the world, ever since one very imaginative person got bored.

8. Alligators have been a farmyard staple, and friend to all farm children since the time barns were first raised.

9. Alligators used to be the best selling children’s stuffed animal until President Roosevelt drowned that bear cub.

10. Alligator meat is incredibly tasty and nutritious. It's used in burgers, meatballs and steaks.

Well, we ended this list where the alligator meets their end, just as I am about to meet mine, so gotta go strap myself in that zapper.

Perhaps you'll see me at your next suppertime, cuz I've never seen a prison cemetery, and who knows what they'll make out of my crisp fried bod.

For more articles by Big Daddy Terrible, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email Benefactor@surrealtimes.net.


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