A Message From An Ant Stuck In An Ant Farm
Hello everyone, and special thanks to The Surreal Times for sharing my story. If you are wondering how the mechanics work of my tiny ant thoughts being transmitted to the words you are now reading, I am just as confused as you are. Some journalist attached a little hat to my head, and now every thought that I have is wirelessly transmitted to his computer. It’s all very confusing, I know. Anyways, let me explain my situation.
I am an ant stuck inside some little human girl’s ant farm. There are, to my knowledge, about 500 of us in here, and I have no idea how I ended up in this situation. One day I’m minding my own business, collecting sticks for my colony and walking in those lines as all ants do, when all of a sudden, some little girl picks me up and tosses me in a tube. Next thing I know, I’m in one of those kiddie ant farms that I always hear about from the elders back at the colony. How is this not animal cruelty, and where is PETA when we need them the most?
The kid and her family know that we are all going to die in here, so basically, they are keeping us in a cage with enough food for us to build cool tunnels, but definitely not enough food for us to live as long as we should. Because eventually, we’ll all run out of that edible jell that we eat or die while eating our way through it. Shame on you, human beings, for allowing this type of cruelty, disguised as fun entertainment, to become so mainstream. Here I am, literally smelling the ass of the ant in front of me as we tunnel through this weird gel stuff that doesn’t even taste that good. At least give the gel some flavor – maybe something fruity or savory. Is that too much to ask for?
I can only imagine the type of savage behavior that will transgress once we all realize there’s no more food for us. I’m sure we’ll turn on the weak ants first, savoring each ligament of their body and to nourish our own. But eventually, we will all die in this sad little prison that we are trapped in. I ask again, how is this not animal cruelty? Do ants not count as real animals? If you are reading this, please save me. Email ant@surrealtimes.net for a location and come rescue my innocent soul. All I want to do is smell the fresh air again.
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