Account: Victim of Crows

A man who uses a wheelchair has reported repeated bird attacks. A crow that lingers in the skies above downtown Amherst has been dive-bombing him repeatedly since the beginning of May. He said that “[it] points its beak and zips down at [him] like a kamikaze.” Oftentimes, after a near miss, the bird gets stuck with its beak in the dirt. Last week, it fractured part of its beak off when it hit the pavement my mistake.

The victim says the bird is off-target so frequently that it seems to be blind or attack with its eyes closed.

“I’m not scared anymore. At first, I avoided downtown for fear of getting impaled. But now, I will even help the bird dislodge its beak from the ground when I hear it whimpering. I almost feel bad for it. It seems neurotic, like it is compelled against its will to attack me without any reason to do so. I watch it through my binoculars. I can see that it suffers from a nervous tick. I can see that it is exhausted and lost. So sometimes I will waft big balloons into the air, to give it something to attack. When it pops one of them, I know how good it must feel. And, otherwise, no harm done, as long as I wheel myself indoors before I run out of balloons.”

The victim seems at peace and would not give animal control the identity of the bird. However, the county wishes to pursue criminal charges even though the victim has retracted his criminal complaint. Please contact UMass PD with any relevant information.

For more articles by Tom Johnson, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email tjohnson@surrealtimes.net.


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