Airplane Stuck in Orbit

Carl Mon,
Head of PIA

This weekend a commercial airliner began leaking fuel while on its way from Los Angeles to Hawaii. With 150 passengers on board and miles of ocean in all directions, the pilot needed to act fast. He stepped on it, burning what remaining fuel he had to climb further upwards. Instead of looking for a place to land, he climbed higher and higher, eventually out of the upper atmosphere and into orbit! The engines stopped just after he’d reached critical velocity, leaving him soaring safely through zero gravity. To this day, the aircraft continues to circle the earth safely.

Flight staff report that they have enough animal crackers, water, and Jurassic Park movies on board to keep the passengers alive for a few weeks. The problem, they say, is the lack of gravity. Passengers are chaotically floating around the cabin, enjoying themselves but oftentimes colliding and getting into tiffs.

SpaceX flight teams say they are preparing for a rescue mission, but they have not yet published a plan. Rumor has it that it involves a large net and a grappling hook.

For more articles by Carl Mon, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email mon.carl.


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