AN ACCOUNT OF: A MAN CUT IN TWO BY A WINDOW
[[Artist's depiction of these events by Marina Parella]]
In snowcapped Jindabyne, Australia — He woke up feverish and sweating through his sheets, wishing to sleep more but unable to because of his overactive heating system. He got up from his bed. He opened his door. He hoped only his bedroom was the culprit and not his entire home. But, he soon learned, while scanning the hallway, the living room, and the kitchen, that every room was equally and unbearably steamy.
Wanting to resolve the heat, he lifted open his bedside window. This exposed the cold winter outdoors which immediately made the man feel better. But soon the man wanted to feel even better. This is why he climbed upon the window sill and dared climb further onto the dangerously steep and icy rooftop.
Ultimately, this is what led the window to feel it necessary to close upon the man. It split him into two halves, one destined to smell in the moist hot indoors, the other destined to freeze in the outdoor tundra.
At the scene, I could hear the sound of a fingertip squeaking across moist glass, but I saw no such finger. Words appeared magically upon the window in conjunction with the sounds I heard. I believe the window was telling its story over the medium of condensation.
Reading them, I learned that the window had “decided to cut its losses when [it] realized that the man would not return.”
Paramedics arriving at the scene wiped blood from the window’s sill. They openly expressed hopelessness and distaste.
The window wished to explain. “I am vehemently sorry,” it wrote upon itself, “I was not aware that my users were so non-modular and irreparable. I will be more conscious of this characteristic of theirs if I am ever graced with another similar human pet.”
“Gruesome,” remarked one paramedic, having not read or payed attention to the window’s note — instead focussing on the mess.
“Terrible, just terrible,” said the other paramedic likewise. “A tragedy with nobody to blame saddens me most.”
“Will you please interact with me, my guests?” asked the window, upset they were ignoring him. But the paramedics responded not.
All they did was continue whining, complaining, covering their mouths and covering their noses.
“Oh, please, don’t brandish your glum,” wrote the window. “Don’t parade around with your naked feelings, as though I did nothing and cared for no one. I did this, undeniably, and I assure you I have been as down as you have since the halving, probably more so, and as transparent as can be…”
It is unknown to me whether the paramedics noticed the window’s writings, and if they did whether they bothered to read them. What is known to me is that when one of the paramedics sought to retrieve the half corpse from outside, the window vigorously opened and slammed itself shut, refusing to allow him access. Like a desperate dog, it chomped at paramedics and their replacements and their replacements, warding all of them off. None could access the rooftop to retrieve the frozen half corpse stranded there.
The fire department has been dispatched. People hope the ladder truck will be able to access the rooftop from the outside. An incoming blizzard, however, may prove this a difficult endeavor and I have been told it may be necessary to wait until next week to recover the body.
Words remain on the window pane: “It is too dangerous outside for pets. Please, stay inside with me. The company would be nice.”
Comments
[Wolfy@Nov.18 6:31pm]: This was a pretty cool story. I liked it. To Dernberger Spengleton, good job, I think you're good at writing short stories.
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