Dernberger joined The Surreal Times as a starry-eyed journalist with a deep appreciation for the human experience.
In early 2019, he was appointed by Theodore Munnely as Tender to The Grand Conveyor. It became his job to coordinate the rotation of the Earth such that it would bring nutrients, amusement, and inspiration to Theodore's Castle-About-Which-The-World-Rotates, where Theodore was trapped. During that time, Dernberger was quite consumed and with little time for writing.
In a strange turn of events, his life partner surreal warped him into the Castle-About-Which-The-World-Rotates in order to allow Theodore to escape. He was trapped there for many months, but has since been extracted from his entrapping castle by a hypercube and an angel.
Dernberger now lives and works with Theodore Munnely as they pursue greater Novelty.
| December 12, 2021 |
Nippled Bird, Mime Engage in Psychic Energy Battle |
| December 12, 2021 |
Sound Worm Havoc On Halloween |
| December 12, 2021 |
Anti-Clown Attacks in Amherst |
| December 12, 2021 |
A Dimension inside a Disco Ball |
| December 12, 2021 |
>Man Obscured By Tuba |
| December 12, 2021 |
Holyman Summons A Party |
| August 23, 2021 |
Picnic In The Sahara |
| August 23, 2021 |
Mental Magnet Erases Hard Drives |
| August 23, 2021 |
Wrestling With Waves And Fish |
| July 18, 2021 |
Unusual Teaching Methods At Chiptooth Kindergarten |
| July 18, 2021 |
Introspecting On The Side Effects Of Divorce |
| May 29, 2021 |
Are You A Markov Chain? Find Out Now And Get Help? |
| May 29, 2021 |
Gravity Preppers Train For Gravitationally Unstable Future |
| May 29, 2021 |
Correction: Mathematicians On Mars |
| May 29, 2021 |
Fire In The Fractal Factory |
| May 29, 2021 |
Group Attempts To Hypnotize The Gods |
| April 9, 2021 |
Gravity Preppers Wear Bricks On Their Feet |
| April 9, 2021 |
Mathematicians On Mars |
| April 9, 2021 |
Opinion: Free The Oil, Help It To Freedom |
| March 12, 2021 |
Women Re-defines Love Function |
| March 12, 2021 |
Couple Brings Their Relationship To The Next Level |
| February 9, 2021 |
Individual Protests Federeral Reserve |
| February 9, 2021 |
Individuals Celebrate Organization |
| February 8, 2021 |
Lobster Whisperer Teaches Sonar Spoofing, Saves Crustations |
| February 8, 2021 |
Blow To Head Changes Ball Player’s Life Forever |
| February 8, 2021 |
Couple Has A Real Marriage |
| December 13, 2020 |
Juggle Fighting Championship Spurs Controversy |
| December 13, 2020 |
A Look Into The "Sane Asylum" Downtown |
| December 13, 2020 |
The Art Of Fishing With Birds, A Beautiful Bond |
| October 28, 2020 |
New Hairstyle Taking over Paquaint Areas |
| October 28, 2020 |
Bunny Rabbit Rave Hero |
| September 23, 2020 |
In Troubled Times, Skatebirder Spreads Calm |
| September 23, 2020 |
Existential Dread Down the Drain |
| September 23, 2020 |
Scooter Coolman Finds A Lover |
| August 15, 2020 |
Profile: The Skatebirder |
| February 29, 2020 |
My First Line Training Experience |
| January 25, 2020 |
Demon that Does Good Visits Easthampton |
| December 24, 2019 |
Demon that Does Good Coming to Easthampton |
| November 2, 2019 |
Hypercube Confessions And The Future |
| October 5, 2019 |
Jesus Reincarnated Before My Eyes |
| August 30, 2019 |
A CALL TO ACTION ON THE SURREALIST FRONTLINES |
| March 14, 2019 |
Man In Castle-About-Which-World-Rotates Cannot Break Out or Be Broken Out |
| March 12, 2019 |
Man In Castle-About-Which-World-Rotates Wishes To Leave His Castle |
| February 26, 2019 |
Man In Castle-About-Which-The-World-Rotates Becomes Sickly |
| February 18, 2019 |
Man In Castle Rejects Tour |
| February 18, 2019 |
Man In The Castle-About-Which-The-World-Rotates Is Disappointed |
| January 24, 2019 |
Castle About Which World Rotates: dweller unsatisfied, unable to paint or escape |
| January 9, 2019 |
Pleasant Surprises Rise From The Roads of New York City |
| December 3, 2018 |
May The Rodents Be Gone, Say the Elderly Children |
| November 26, 2018 |
Random Act of Apathy |
| October 28, 2018 |
Words Discover How To Make Love |
| October 25, 2018 |
A New Stage of The Problem of The Upper Half Of The Man Cut into Two By A Window |
| October 5, 2018 |
Florida Parents Acquire Vending Machine to Feed Children |
| August 5, 2018 |
AN ACCOUNT OF: A MAN CUT IN TWO BY A WINDOW |
| May 30, 2018 |
Spiral Run Closing In On The Amherst Common |
| May 30, 2018 |
Notorious Chief Of Agnatroptes Witnessed Serving Sun |
| April 19, 2018 |
Musical Fun All Around |
| April 19, 2018 |
Dj Hawk Radio Passes Along |
| March 15, 2018 |
Malicious Koi Robs World of Nwidvee |
| March 15, 2018 |
Unusual Birth Occurs in Wake of Snowstorm |
| March 15, 2018 |
Strange Turn of Events Leads Writer to Symbioticism |
| February 25, 2018 |
The Story of Timothy The Round Uncovered |
| February 20, 2018 |
Norwottuck Rail Trail to be Extended |
| February 8, 2018 |
Events Unfold At The Vatican |
| January 22, 2018 |
Faith Can Move Mountains |
| December 25, 2017 |
The Fun Is Over Early This Year |
| December 4, 2017 |
Untastefully Yours Probably & The ARG |
| November 28, 2017 |
Amherst Annual Orchestra To Perform This Year's Stunt |
| November 9, 2017 |
Strange Contraption Brings Mindfulness |
| October 31, 2017 |
Woman Receives Information From Afar |
| September 13, 2017 |
Surreal Newsroom on 9/14/2017 |
| September 6, 2017 |
Come to the Inaugural Surreal Newsroom |
| May 3, 2017 |
OBITUARY: TRUTH HAS DEPARTED THIS LIFE |
| March 17, 2017 |
Montreal Endures Viscous Inhabitant |
| February 2, 2017 |
A peculiar occurrence |
| February 1, 2017 |
A peculiar occurence |
| January 31, 2017 |
A peculiar occurence |