The Editors,
Times Staff

The writing competition will conclude on March 1st, 2018. Submissions received by midnight will be duplicated a dozen times over, so as to allow for a copy to be delivered to the desks of each of the monacle-wielding creatures residing in our Amherst headquarters. Five days later, these creatures will transport their comments and criticisms to a cast-iron cauldron in our Sunderland outpost. The Surreal Times will add a select few active ingredients, and then wait.

Once the contents of the cauldron coagulate, we will extract the resulting blob and apply to it a specialized version of spectroscopy, which will allow us to decipher the council's aggregate leaning.

The winner will be announced immediately after this determination is made. We will contact the winner, and arrange a hearing (public or private, depending on their preference), to present to them their prize and provide them an opportunity to speak.

The prize will be a component of a grand machine which bridges planes of existence, and which has caused quite an uproar across the nation in the past few months --- a component of The New Mexico Surreal Engine. We cannot reveal exactly which component the prize entails just yet. But, what we can say is -- it is widely sought after.

Good luck to those still finishing their stories!

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