Blargo is Back
Good news guys! Our boy, Blorgo, is back! I know y’all were worried, and it was starting to seem like we weren’t going to see him again, but I found ‘em. I should have known, he was hiding in my walls the entire time! Hahah, classic Blorgo. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it earlier. There I was, eating a peanut butter and bologna sandwich in my kitchen, when suddenly I noticed that looking at me through the vent in the wall were a pair of bulbous unblinking eyes that gleamed ungodly bright and were as painful to look at as the sun itself - unmistakably Blorgo!
“Blorgo, you big silly head is that where you’ve been hiding the whole time?” I asked him. Blorgo just looked at me and rasped:
“I shall bathe in the blood of fallen angels as I gaze upon a dying universe.”
I just had to laugh, another timeless Blorgo one liner!
“Blorgo, you’re the best!” I exclaimed as I watched his mere presence turn the vent to molten metal, causing my wallpaper to burst into flames. I ran to go tell my mother the good news right away. As soon as she heard, she smiled and said with tears in her eyes:
“God forgive you Billy. May god have mercy upon us all.”
She tends to use confusing words, but she sounded super amped!
The first thing I’m gonna do when I get to school tomorrow morning is tell everybody the great news. I can’t wait to see the look on their faces! Everyone’s going to call me a hero, and they’re going to say:
“Billy, we were wrong about you! We should never of said those things about you! We’ll never talk to you that way ever again! Never ever again! Yes! Blorgo is back!”
Now that Blorgo is back, I know they’ll finally have to love me. I know it - I just know it. Everything is going to be alright, I’m sure, now that our friend Blorgo is here. It has to be. I need it to be.
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