Carny Hosts Mindfulness Game Show

A prominent figure in the annual Amherst Center carnival tribe has embarked on a new venture.

This man, known as “Julio Gurulio”, is a carny with a cause, and that cause is mindfulness. He traveled from across the Atlantic Ocean to bring the Western World what it so desperately needs. Now he harnesses the power of carnival rides in order to overwhelm people’s senses of sight, orientation, hearing, and more, thereby forcing them to retreat into their own heads, where they are removed from their worldly troubles and stresses. His most famous hand-made ride was the 2-axis Globe Gyro Mind Compactor. It was a 10-foot tall pivoting globe mechanism inside of which subjects would be strapped in spread eagle position. Powered by a tractor motor, it would spin so chaotically that subjects would have no choice but to forget about their stressful lives as they struggled to combat the G-Force of the ride. But Julio Gurulio has just recently sold his gyro machine. “I am sad to see it go,” he said, “but the time has come for a paradigm shift.” The direction of his shift is towards Television. In particular, game show television. “I am hosting a competition which is a mindfulness exercise in disguise.” In Julio’s gameshow, there are a number of bubble rooms, a single contestant in each room. Some contestants suffer from seizures, others do not. On cue, flashing lights and glitching sounds fill the rooms. Contestants are directed to flail and shake in the most chaotic, uncontrolled ways possible. The crowd is challenged to guess who is having a real seizure and who is faking. “The magic of it is, it harnesses the evil power of consumerism for something good. People watching encourages the seizure-faking contestants to really let loose, to abandon all sense of control, in order to get in touch with their inner selves. Then the money viewers pay is used for medical costs and spreading awareness.” Medical professionals are kept nearby for the sake of real seizure havers. Contestants faking seizures are assured that the rooms are sufficiently padded, that no injuries other than pulled muscles and minor whiplash could possibly occur. An EEG machine is used to verify which seizures were truly real and which were not.

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