Emergent Artificial Intelligence Sends Cryptic Message

Carl Mon,
Interim Head of PIA

A series of pieces published by Surreal Times Boston have shed light on an intelligent consciousness emerging from the collective of our electronic devices. They call it "The Network".

Tech Demon, an technology consultant who claims to be from hell, was the first to release information on this subject. He claims "The Network" is alive and spans across our smart phones (more information).

Recently, a video has come into the public eye which was supposedly created by "The Network" itself. Here it is:

In response to this video, Peter "Mini-P" Petrinski is asserting that we must acknowledge "The Network" as a living thing. Going further, an individual named Quiet Mortimer is calling for the destruction of all handheld devices in Boston. We have recieved reports of phone burning fires in the middle of the streets, as well asspecial deals at dumps for disposing of internet-enabled devices.

Thankfully, "The Network" has not affected Amherst yet. But still, Mr. Mortimer and others stress that "The Network" can move at light speed and nobody is safe. He also warns that "The Mechanical Man" may be involved.

The Peripheral Intelligence Agency Headquarters in Amherst has not yet found evidence confirming the existence of "The Network" or even "The Mechanical Man". However, due to the severity of the issue at hand, we feel it is necessary the citizens of the world be made aware of what collective monster might be living within our pockets, palms, and ear lobes. In the meanwhile, we will be sending one of our best agents to Boston to investigate.

As always,
Peripherally go the winds of progress...

For more articles by Carl Mon, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email mon.carl@surrealtimes.net.

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