FOR SALE

For sale: time-machine. Lightly used - at least in this timeline. Proton extremometor fully functional. Only 50,000 years on it. Requires oil change. Handles well. Model: Mercedes Time Voyager, year 2352 (a good year for time machines!). Has never broken down. To buy, meet me in Alexandria, 700 A.D, multiverse 37B. Can also make it multiverse 26B, but I have angered the Hydrochlorians in that universe, and would prefer to avoid further contact. Price negotiable.

HELP WANTED

Looking for handy-man to fix various household issues: leaky sink, small hole in roof, install fence in backyard (115 foot total - I have supplies). Further jobs possible in future. Pay hourly: 15-20$ an hour depending on speed of work and negotiation before. Must be prompt and professional. Must be slug-funk friendly. This is non-negotiable. Lunch and coffee provided. Contact 145 Brown Street, Boxton, MA.

Contact management@surrealtimes.net if it is your wish to offer or request goods or services on the public ledger at right. Maximum wordcount: 100. Cost: five dollars per print edition, five dollars per week online. Bitcoin is acceptable as an alternative payment method.

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