Death By Halal
Last week, A Halal Food cart rolled unsupervised down the hill on Main Street. It gained speed quickly and struck a pedestrian dead. Sadly I cannot properly commemorate the victim, because he is too young for his name to be released.
The food cart’s owner and operator, Henry, said that its e-brake was switched off when a cheap customer pounded on the side of the cart demanding a half-price sandwich on account of his success in a slow-walking competition earlier that day.
We are looking at security footage from nearby shops but do not expect to find any grounds for criminal charges in this case.
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