Gender Reveal Causes Tornado

A gender reveal celebration gone wrong has spawned a tornado at the Los Angeles International Airport. Hours ago, a couple expecting a baby unwittingly wreaked havoc on thousands of unsuspecting travelers. Their plan was simple: rent a private plane, place blue or pink smoke in the twin turbine engines, and release the smoke into the sky as the plane took off. However, after a miscommunication, both husband and wife reserved a plane. When the two aircraft crossed paths -- while releasing smoke into the atmosphere at blistering speeds -- a tornado formed at the intersection point.

The tornado, which is the first twister in Los Angeles since 1983, thundered through LAX. Two terminals were destroyed, and the parking garage suffered damage as well. A Dunkin Donuts was carried off by the cyclone, but nobody cares about that. Starbucks, the airport’s most popular dining establishment, was unaffected; with even fewer alternatives, the line for coffee currently extends hundreds of feet into the surrounding rubble. Thus far, no casualties have been reported, but at least two travelers -- a man in jeans simply too tight to wear on a plane and a woman last seen eating an açaí bowl -- are missing.

Fortunately, the tornado has died down. Facing intense backlash, the couple responsible issued a public apology, stating: “We’re sorry for causing a natural disaster.” Quickly, though, the apology turned defensive. “But what we should be focusing on is the natural miracle that is our baby. How could we have known we were going to create a tornado? You can’t get mad at us for being unlucky. Honestly, we’re pretty blown away by all the negativity.” A local resident, whose home was blown away, called the comments “insensitive.” The couple is expected to face criminal charges.

As for the gender reveal, The Surreal Times was unable to confirm the sex of the baby.

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