A dangerous and costly computer worm is running rampid in the Amherst area and, I have been told, around the entire nation. It is entering our computers in one fashion or another. We at UMass PD, are not yet sure of how it is doing this. We are sure, however, that this worm is causing computers to project high pitched sounds from their speakers, varying the pitch up and down until something called a "resonant frequencer" is found. When this "resonant frequencer" is found, drinking glasses in your home and sometimes even windows will shatter completely.

We are confronting this issue from multiple directions. Preventative methods, restorative methods, and reparationary responses are all items on our radar. Regarding those, we will keep you posted.

In the meanwhile, we advice all individuals with computers to disconnect their speakers, in the case that their speakers are disconnect-able, and to cover their speakers with sound-proofing foam otherwise. Pillows can be used as a substitute D.I.Y. solution for sound-proofing foam if necessary. See Jonothon Woodruff's description of the process here, in his PSA on meteor impacts: surrealtimes.net/article/?id=192.

An alternate option for individuals who are dependent on their speakers for their work or their hobbies, is to replace glass or china dinnerware with plastic dinnerware.

Best to you all, everyone.

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