Local Student Finally Escapes Infinitely Looping Hallway, Angry He Missed Winter Break

Sax Tuba,
Times Staff

A report from Surreal Times HQ indicates that a student at UMass Amherst has escaped some sort of pocket dimension in the form of an endless hallway. The student, sophomore Rupert Forbert, has been trapped in this hallway since december 20th, the last day of the Fall semester for the university. Despite escaping just the other day (weeks after being trapped), Forbert claims that he was only roaming the halls “for a few hours, maybe a day.” Experts at the Times conclude that the pocket dimension seems to either alter the perception of time for those inside or that time simply moves at a different pace within this dimension. Forbert agreed to share his story about the mysterious hall with the Times.

“It was one of the Morrill buildings,” Forbert started, “I had just finished my last final .I was walking down the halls of the third floor, and as I turned a corner there was a closed door in front of me that had the stairs right behind it. I obviously didn’t think much of it and pushed the door open, only to find myself right back outside the room where I took my test. At this point, I thought to myself , ‘ok, maybe I was daydreaming or something, these things happen,’ but as I went to repeat the process and open the door, I was right back in front of the classroom.” According to his story, Forbert didn’t see or hear anyone the entire time, and every other door except the one that sent him back was locked. “The worst part,” Forbert mentioned, “was that there was no cell service. It sucked.”

Forbert went on to explain how as he continued to go through loop after loop. The properties of the hallway would change, first only slightly, but later it would drastically change before becoming completely normal again. “So like, sometimes I’d walk through the hallway and suddenly all the other locked doors would be in different spots or like how this one time the hall got really really long and even this other time where sirens would go off super loud out of nowhere.” He (nonchalauntly) described the experience as “a horrifying look into [his] psyche.” However, he did not seem particularly upset in comparison to when he was told how much time had past. “So you’re saying I missed the entire break?” he asked. “Goddamnit...this sucks,” he responded when he was given the unfortunate truth. Forbert then had to leave so he could inform friends and family that he wasn’t dead, but members of the Surreal Times will continue to look into what is now being called “Morrill’s Pocket.”

For more articles by Sax Tuba, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email sax.tuba@surrealtimes.net.


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