Notorious Chief Of Agnatroptes Witnessed Serving Sun

It’s not everyday you find yourself standing beside the head chief of Agnatroptes, Goh-Tahm-Kual, rubbing your thumbs and wondering what to say.

Last week I climbed on top of Worcester dining hall, hoping to watch the sunset as I ate chicken fingers. I pulled up my usual chair. This was near a spot Goh-Tahm-Kual was known to frequent. However, I did not expect him to be meandering at such a late hour. And so I was startled I noticed him atop the same building as I, but he near the southern entrance while I prefered the north.

He sat cross-legged in a meditative state. A padded cloak draped over him protected him as he hummed continuously and slowly but steadily peddled (with his hands) the tricycle pedals attached to the sides of his helmet, thereby generating a magnetic field and attracting metals of various kinds to fly at high speeds and clink onto his body. I watched his generated magnetism pull a coin from a passing bird’s grasp. I watched it pull a spoon from a student’s pocket. I watched it tear barbed wire from the grasp of an elderly, overgrown tree.

Very curious, yes… but, I will be honest with you — I nodded off for quite a while, not because of general disinterest in Goh-Tahm-Kual, but because I had recently concluded a 48 hour clover binge with my partner. It had been an exhausting time… and in the aftermath I yearned for nothing more than solace before meeting her in bed for 24 hours of re-synchronization.

Anyways, all of the sudden I wake up to this feather-armpitted, electromagnet-headed, pink speedo wearing nut ball standing silhouetted directly in front of me. He had many miscellaneous items magnetized to his body. He stood tall and broad, eclipsing me in his shadow during a time of wonderful coloring of the sky.

It was primetime sunset. Although normal me would have gone to great lengths for a word or two, at the very least, with this widely mythologized chief -- in this moment, I had a pinching desire to push him into the blue sky and to have him drown in it. I simply wanted my solace to myself.

But, I saw how lightly he leaned upon his heavy walking staff, and how massive were his arms. Due to this observation, I opted for a non-confrontational approach. I moved my chair a few feet to the side quietly, so that I could see better. And I prepared to watch the darn best sunset there ever was.

I watched the blues calm to to greens and yellows, and the yellows burn to charred oranges and dark reds. I listened to the sky breathe. I listened to the birds make way home for the night.

And I watched Chief Goh-Tahm-Kual raise his walking staff above his head, brandishing it to the sky.

And I watched him drop to his knees, still with the grand walking staff raised above, as the sun breached the horizon.

I watched him lower his staff horizontally into a keyhole-like crevice on top of his magnet helmet. He strained to turn sideways a pivot point in his complicated magnet helmet.

In the moment the sun was split by the horizon, he succeeding in turning the pivot.

I watched thousands of metal items release from Chief Goh-Tahm-Kual’s pull, and gradually drift toward the swirling sun. Silverware, small car parts, old computer devices, all of those things, they all floated buoyant in the air, slowly upwards and outward. Meanwhile, the Chief clasped his palms and bowed, worshipping that which provides warmth and light to his world.

The sun engulfed the final spoon. An instant subsequent, it disappeared behind the horizon…

It was a bizarre experience, witnessing this from so close. And more so: witnessing the people on the ground going about their daily business without any awareness of the surreal sight. And even more so: finding myself face-to-face with the chief during the moment that followed.

He stood idly for five minutes. I think that it was his intention to provide me space to speak. Unfortunately, despite my in hindsight throbbing curiosity, I failed to conjure a single word at the time. And so he saluted me with his left hand, and separately with his right hand, and concluded, “Until next time.”

For more articles by Dernberger Spengleton, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email spengleton@surrealtimes.net.


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