Obituary: Agatha Pendleton

The Pendleton Family,

Agatha Pendleton, mother of 2, was busy flipping a coin for the 678th time and pondering the role that chance plays in our daily lives. She had flipped heads 343.5 times and with the latest tails, she had the same number. But no amount of lucky chance could save her from the tabun needle which would soon be plunging toward her. In one of her last acts, she cursed herself for spending so much time flipping a quarter. Clearly, a nickel is the correct apparatus for testing chance. She flipped the coin one last time and closed her eyes, heard a tiny pinging noise, then opened her eyes. The needle collided with the coin mid-air and sent it off course. Agatha let out a massive sigh of relief and then was hit with a tabun needle.

It is noted that Agatha is survived by her 8 daughters, all named something truly clever, I’m sure.

For more articles by The Pendleton Family, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email pendleton.family@surrealtimes.net.

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