Obituary: Earnest Earhorn
Earnest Earhorn noticed it was getting dark (although how late it was simply waited in the dusty corners of fate to show its hand), singing sweet lullabies to each of his precious ears of corn, his lips sewn with love and seeds for his corn's sweet farmland dreams.
He took a look up at the sky and saw nothing but sweet sky at first, but noticed a hint of something raining down. He was the first to see them coming. He knew there was no escape. So he looked at his sheep and his cows, and he kept on singing, singing through the pain of each of countless needles impaling his body in all places.
"Merrily, merrily, life is but a dream"
His will leaves his farm to his son, who also passed in the tabun needle tragedy. Fortunately, his son had a will as well, which passed all inherited property to his 4th-grade girlfriend, who is in the 7th grade now.
Earnest is an inspiration to us all, for how he remained jolly in the face of tabun. We are glad he is succeeded by another good soul.
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