Opinion: Eat Blue Aliens For Morals And Sustainability

“Vegans, go cosmovore if you want your wants truly.”

Aldus Humbleton,
Cousin of Alfred

COW-COMPOUNDING HIPPOCRIT DICKS YELL MEAT IS SATAN, IGNORE THEMSELVES, AND EAT SWINE FOR DESERT. VEGGIES AREN’T SUSTAINABLE MENTALLY APPARENTLY, BUT WE STRIVE FOR ANGELHOOD RIGHTEOUSNESS. SO WHAT? RESOLVE THE QUEST. USE CANDY-LIKE BLUE ALIEN PROTEIN FROM A PLANET THAT IS NOT EARTH. EAT SPACE SENTIENCES FOR BREAK, LUNCH, DIN. MAD COWS CAN FART METHANE ON THEIR OWN TIME. THINK “LIFE FOREVER” UNTIL DEATH. SPACE GODS HAVE NO MORAL JURISDICTION HERE.

For more articles by Aldus Humbleton, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email humbleton.aldus@surrealtimes.net.

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